I can’t thank LSUFreek enough for this, his latest work of sorcery. After viewing the original video for the second time I decided that it needed to be Romo-fied, and that Freek was just the man to bring the vision to life. He did just that.
Be sure to check out more of Freek’s magic over at The Sporting Blog.
We’re clearly in the tank for Martellus Bennett here at KSK. But I think even we can admit that the first episode of his new game show, “Who Wants To Be Hood Rich?” could use some work. They need to improve the lighting. Wait, strike that. They need lighting. Also, the host never ends up banging the living hell out of the contestant. What’s that, you say? This wasn’t MEANT to be interracial gonzo porn? Well, you could have fooled me.
This rather fantastic video of a 2007 Raiders-Chargers tailgate introduces us to perhaps the most fearsome Raider fan in the galaxy. I speak, of course, of the infamous (as in MORE THAN FAMOUS) Senor Raider. Because there’s nothing more intimidating that a fat man in a black sombrero. It also introduces us to Milt. AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE MILT THEN YOU A BITCH. Let’s make like flubby and do a play-by-play of the action.
The 80’s might be dead, but thanks to YouTube horribly embarrassing team music videos will live longer than the synthetic fibers used to make Jerry Rice’s sweater. Over at Shutdown Corner MJD calls the video “very San Francisco” which I can only assume is Yahoo! Sports Blog-approved speak for “flamingly gay.”
Update: Flubby tells me that this was on some site called FanHouse a couple of years back. Damn. MJD really should have caught that. Whatever, let’s all blame Mottram.
Unfortunately, at Paul Brown Stadium nothing on the field provides an attractive alternative to getting completely ‘faced. Blotto to the point that your once powerful, panty-melting dance moves are now something more akin to a dying invalid feebly wave at a swarm of Africanized bees. By the way, nice brokedick 2Pac doo-rag, you piss-drunk cock.
Isn’t it apt that this waste of skin has chosen a Chris Henry jersey? Oh, it’s apt alright. Apt as a motherfucker. Also, Drunk Bengal Guy’s friend looks like a refugee from a Frankie Goes to Hollywood cover band.
Awwww, now he’s all partied out. Goodnight, sweet prince. May you live to regale the masses another season.
Spoofs of the Coors Light coach’s press conference commercials are hardly new, but this one is better than most. Iron City may not be the best beer in the world Pennsylvania, but it beats the hell out of Coors Light. Anything that even tangentially mocks that wretched Colorado swill is cool with me.
You know who else is pretty damn cool? Mike Tomlin. That’s not easy for a Raider fan to admit. Seeing Tampa Bay attempt to emulate the Steelers’ success by hiring Raheem Morris makes me think that Tomlin has already done more for promoting coaching diversity than the “Rooney Rule” ever will.
After Santonio Holmes scored the game-winning touchdown, former Steeler Jerome Bettis internalized his exuberance and quietly went about his preparations for the post-game show. Nah, just kidding, he acted like he just found out craft services rolled out a fresh platter of jelly donuts.
Steelers fans have been a veritable cornucopia of entertainment the past few weeks. Some are cute, some are angry, some are just plain baffling. But the majority involve Yinzers who aren’t shy about going back for fourthsies at The Golden Corral’s pork fat buffet.
This one is no exception, as a husky lad leads us through the intricacies of the “Chicken Dance”. I’ve never been a fan, but there is no denying the song’s enduring appeal. It seems nearly every wedding reception I’ve ever attended has included the trifecta of the Chicken Dance, the Electric Slide and– once everyone is halfway in the bag– Clarence Carter’s “Strokin’.” All three will no doubt be on Steel City play-lists tonight in the event of a Pittsburgh victory.
A country radio station in Pittsburgh charged morons two bits a pop to take a sledge hammer to a (simeon) rice burner fine Amurican automobile painted up in Arizona Cardinals colors. Even though it’s all for charity, I initially thought the whole thing was pointless and silly. (”Take that inanimate object that has no connection whatsoever to the team I suddenly hate!”) But after further reflection, I’m all for Stillers fans relieving their fat aggressions in socially-approved channels. Beats domestic violence and destruction of private property.
Fast forward to the :50 second mark for the big highlight, which led to the following colloquy:
me: Peep Yokozuna.
Ape: He should replace Willie Colon.
Me: He should replace his own colon.
Maj: Mr. Fuji approves.
Me: WTF is the thing fatass picks up off the ground and shows to the camera? I thought it was a broken cell phone, but that’s not it.
Ape:Portable barbecue?
Me: Insulin pump?
Maj: Tape recorder… Note to self: remember to go to Eat ‘N Park for the midnight buffet.
Drew: If you’re going to post a transcript of this, can you work in a subtle, off-hand plug for Men With Balls?
Sure, some Steelers fans are going to accuse KSK of posting this video solely to make them look bad. Au contraire, I am posting this because I wanted to prove to the world that Sealab is a real place and that Captain Murphy roots for the black and gold. Work it, you nimble little minx you.