Carolina Panthers running back DeAngelo Williams recently hosted a charity paintball event. Joining him were teammates Steve Smith, Brad Hoover, and Damione Lewis, among others. As this video attests, a good time was had by all in the great outdoors. We at KSK are strongly in favor of people not named Eric Rudolph cavorting in the North Carolina wilderness.
While the TV sports talking guy’s terror at the sight of Jon Beason in full paintball regalia is a bit over the top, we can’t help but notice a resemblance…
Hey TMZ, if you want to “borrow” some more “exclusives” from sportsblogs. I would suggest the following which concerns another sexy quarterback. Trust me, your readers will love this…
[ thx to MC Bias for reading TMZ so I don't have to ]
Iggles fans, WTF is up with this guy? Philly is supposed to a hardass sports town, yet you tolerate this twerp? This guy wouldn’t last a week in Pittsburgh. Sorry Philly, but when you’ve got an unofficial mascot more embarrassing than the barrel guy, you forfeit any hardass status.
Part of Birdman’s problem is that he has adopted a moniker that has been used repeatedly by other amici aves over the years. According to the Old Gray Lady, this version of Birdman is an ordinary carpenter during the week. That’s just not as compelling as some of these other Birdmen of note…
A. Harvey Birdman Super-hero lawyer. I often repeat Harvey’s catchphrase, “I’ll take the case!” Of course when I say it, I’m talking about a case of GooGoo Clusters.
B. “Birdman” aka “Baby” aka “The #1 Stunna” If I tried to make pigeon calls sound tough I would probably adopt plenty of aliases too.
C. “The Birdman of Alcatraz” Robert Stroud Researched canaries while in the joint. Wrote some books. Shanked a screw.
D. “The Birdman” Koko B. Ware WWF mainstay during the mid-to-late 80s. Sang lead on the spectacularly crappy “Piledriver”. On a scale of one to gay, this video ranks Liberace.
Come to think of it, all these other Birdmen are pretty lousy too. If Philly doesn’t mind this tights-wearing twinkie, then I don’t either. Go nuts, dude.
Before Kimbo Slice was a middling MMA fighter, he was a middling internet sensation. And before that he was a middling football player. In the video below, Kimbo’s prior incarnations come together in the form of a video that the lawyers for the Jackass people might want to review. Some attention-seeking mope agrees to play some football with the big guy with predictably bone-jarring results. Kimbo says he hasn’t put on the pads in 14 years, but you couldn’t tell by the way be blows up this chump. Of course Kimbo appears to have a 100 pounds on the poor bastard.
This video was produced by Kimbo’s “adult entertainment” connections. It’s refreshing that the shot-callers in the fight biz aren’t bogarting the Kimbo exploitation. After all, pornographers need to wet their beak too. Hopefully they let Kimbo keep the helmet after the shoot. He might want it the next time he takes 20+ consecutive elbows to the dome.
If these reports are to be believed, Brett Favre’s idea of a cure for an itch is getting the shit beaten out of him by opposing defenses for one more season. I, on the other hand, prefer the sweet relief a deft swipe across the crotchal region while no one is looking. Or sometimes I pretend to tuck in the back of my shirt when I’m really scratching my ass. That move is clutch. Brett really ought to consider giving that one a chance.
Ah, YouTube… savior of the lazy blogger. This one has something for everyone. Funky Stevie Wonder knockoff soundtrack, plenty o’gratuitous T & A, and a walrus in a John Riggins jersey….
The rest of the gay mafia went out for mannies and peddies. Looks like you are stuck with flub today, kids.
For reasons I cannot begin to fathom, this guy called selloutasaurus on YouTube recreates memorable moments in NFL history using toy frogs wearing gum-ball machine mini-helmets. Along the way, he incorporates low-tech special effects, old network broadcasts and constant non sequiturs. Sure, we’ve seen cutesy stuffed animal videos before, but these are downright surreal. It’s like NFL Films hired the Church of the Subgenius to produce a highlight film starring the Muppets.
The centerpice in the collection is an homage to Drew Peason’s disputed catch in the 1975 playoffs. The last-minute score gave the Cowboys a victory over the Vikings and introduced into football vernacular the phrase “Hail Mary.” In this Greatest Croaks series, a David Lynchesque disregard for continuity turns a 30-second highlight into a three-part (so far) saga detailing a historic pass’ trip around the world. Also available are reenactments of the Heidi Game, the Ice Bowl and a tribute to the Fridge.
And all you Pats fans, be sure to check out the Giant Snatch. Certainly seeing David Tyree played by Kermit the Frog takes some of the sting out of the loss. What’s that? You say it doesn’t? Good.
George Carlin died yesterday. He was 71. You certainly don’t need us to tell you that he was the progenitor of the pissed-off comic that has been copied with varying degrees of success over the past several decades. Furthermore, it was Carlin who officially codified the seven dirty words. And as the LA Times could tell you, KSK wouldn’t be around except for those bon mots.
Carlin was right about many things, including his observation that everyone who drives slower than I do is an asshole and everyone who drives faster than I do is a maniac. This is one of his better known bits, and our favorite. Enjoy, all you assholes and maniacs…
“Listen to this dude Rufus. He knows what he’s talking about.”
