It’s Passion of the Christ meets Angel’s In the Outfield. Plus there’s an atheist throwing a book. Sadly, it’s not one of Ape’s.

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Meet Indiana’s answer to Kige Ramsey. Bonus points for having his own cameraman. When in doubt, always zoom in on the Vienna Sausages.

Thanks to reader Steven, who is on lock-down in Blacksburg.

This video from Paulilu Productions has everything you could hope to find in Southie. A Wahlberg cousin, casual racism, and an outdoor television showing the Sox game. If they’re going to go ahead and script crappy reality shows, the least they could do is make them funny like this one.

Usually at this point in the calendar, we’re desperate for any scraps of NFL-relevant news to trade on for warmed-over yuks. But the tedious recriminations and posturing involved in the current lockout make it more difficult than usual. Sure, there are plenty of self-important assholes deserving of mockery in this ongoing drama, but for the most part it’s just too depressing to bother keeping up with. So it’s good someone was able to tease a little humor out of the situation.

Eagle-eyed readers who get as far as the title screen will notice that I had a hand in writing this NFL lockout sketch from comedy duo Facebook Was Taken. It’s true; I can’t sneak any blatant whoring past you guys. A little casting trivia: the guy who plays DeMaurice Smith also played the character who shot Bodie on “The Wire”. You could say YouTube clips are no great shakes for an alum from that show, but at least he’s doing better than Snoop.

Perhaps the most delightful piece of YouTube ephemera from this past season was this lispy and ridiculous narration of a Greg Jennings touchdown catch and run in Madden. Take a moment to relive all the DARREN SHAWPWAWS and F*CK YOU GUMBYS. Because it’s not like we didn’t reference the video every time Darren Sharper or Jennings did something the last three months of the season.

While the video was hilarious and well-known among blog readers, it wasn’t a viral hit to the extent that you could toss out a PUTTING THE TEAM ON MAH FUGGIN BACK, DOH in casual conversation and have your average person know what you’re talking about. Oh, why must the IRL world be such a fractured and isolating place?

But then, this past weekend someone asked Jennings if he knew about the clip and the receiver answered joyously in the affirmative. Teammates loved it. Falcons DB Thomas DeCoup even razzed Jennings about the video during the Packers’ postseason drubbing of Atlanta. HUZZAH! THE PLAYERS TOTALLY GET OUR SENSE OF HUMOR AND WANT TO HAVE US OVER FOR PIZZA! We don’t have to feel so dumb and alone anymore!

Anyway, I suppose the tale of this video has reached its logical conclusion until Gumby stars in a Tosh.0 Internet redemption segment a year and a half from now.

video via Will Brinson

This is a local news story about a rape case in Alabama. Apparently, rape is 573% funnier when witnessed by this man, Antoine Dodson. Holy, holy crap.

HT: Harper

Yep, half of them look like Brad Childress.

H/T to reader Seth

I went skydiving in April for a Penthouse magazine article. They filmed me landing. And this is PRECISELY how you would expect a complete puss like me to react while landing during a skydive. Pay close attention to the audio. I don’t like throwing around the word COURAGE too much. But I dare say you will never again see such a display of bravery in the face of gentle landing conditions.

The off-season is a time of great boredom for players and fans alike. Perhaps that’s why Chris Cooley decided to film himself chugging all of his favorite condiments, from Frank’s to ranch dressing. Eh, it’s better than Chad Ochocinco’s reality show. Or so I assume.

New Orleans: It has “soul”, which is what white people call character, if character is infused with voodoo, jazz and dark skin. The Big Easy is rife with flaws, some merely depressing but most at least interesting. The city also has a compelling redemption story, which is linked inextricably to art forms, cuisine and other cultural rituals that either originated in or have come to define it. The locals also bond tightly over the Saints, a team whose rise would parallel their own, if only New Orleans got good as quickly as the Saints have.

Indianapolis: It has a good football team, which is celebrated by the local populace by appropriating another region’s signature icons and culture because Indianapolis lacks one of its own. Wave those Terrific Towels, everybody! You’re the 12th Man! A chain restaurant of your choice wants to host your Super Bowl party! They got sliders!

There may very well be less desirable places to live than Indianapolis, but you’d be hard pressed to find one that’s more bland or nondescript. For God’s sake, their governor is wagering that infernal shrimp cocktail AGAIN!

Meanwhile, the cities’ respective art museums (surprisingly, Indy’s isn’t only filled with TGI Friday’s wall decor) are engaged in an escalation of pretentious wagers during the early run-up to the championship. I think the New Orleans museum is just baiting Indy until they put up the world’s biggest ball of takeout menus.