The Vikings gave the Packers a shockingly competitive contest when the teams met in Minnesota three weeks back. Of course, now that the game is in Green Bay and – more importantly – because we’re live blogging it, expect a minimum five-touchdown Cheesehead rout. Last week, Charles Woodson told Mike Silver that the Packers openly talk about the prospect of going 19-0, a move that flies in the face of proper conduct as laid down by DER GOTT OF FOOTBALL JINXERY.

Such discussion has apparently upset Leslie Frazier, whose brilliant idea it was to punt the ball away on a 4th down in the final minutes in the first meeting rather than have his offense try for the lead. Frazier said this week that it’s the Vikings’ goal to end the Packers talk of an undefeated season. Yeah, and it’s my goal to have sex with Kat Dennings on the surface of the sun. Best of luck on your mission, Leslie.

Brett Favre is pulling some last minute dramatics that suggest he might start. Failing that, he’s getting in some good attention whoring before occupying half the ESPN broadcast via anguished sideline shots. Meanwhile, TCF Stadium is approaching Heinz Field levels of hazardous conditions.

Chris Kluwe is especially concerned. No worries, pally. If anyone is catastrophically injured, it’s probably not going to be the sorry-ass punter. Even if said punter has the best reaction to the helmet hits madness of any NFL player to date.

CHICAGO BEARS

The Smirk ‘N’ Sulk Connection

Key Additions: Julius Peppers, Chester Taylor, Brandon Manumaleuna

Key Departures: Alex Brown, Nathan Vasher, Adewale Ogunleye, Kevin Jones, Orlando Pace, Gaines Adams (very far departed)

Five Fast Facts About The Bears:

- Jay Cutler is dating “The Hills’” Kristin Cavallari. This factoid represents the entirety of The Big Lead’s knowledge of the Chicago Bears.
- Lovie Smith has challenged the previous fact.
- Having been burned by Matt Forte last year, there’s almost zero chance he doesn’t run for 1,500 yards and 12 touchdowns this season. I’m already working myself into a homicidal lather just thinking about it.
- Lovie Smith has challenged the previous murderous fantasy.
- The Bears are now out of challenges.

Over/Under For 2010: 8 wins

Verdict: PUSH

I think Cutlerf*cker will improve over the interception bonanza he had in his first season in Chicago. Then again, that means probably still he’ll throw, like, 15 picks. I’m high on Devin Aromashodu to have a breakout year. Signing Julius Peppers and having Brian Urlacher back certainly helps some on defense, but they still need more improvement than that.

DETROIT LIONS

via, in case you didn’t catch the watermark

Key Additions: Ndamukong Suh, Jahvid Best, Tony Scheffler, Kyle Vanden Bosch, Nate Burleson, Rob Sims, Shaun Hill

Key Departures: Ernie Sims, Larry Foote, Daunte Culpepper, Phillip Buchanon, Grady Jackson

Five Fast Facts About The Lions:

- Jeff Backus is the direct descendant of one of Julius Caesar’s favorite peg boys.
- Stefan Logan played in the CFL, so you already know he’s not impressed by the Lions.
- Kyle Vanden Bosch was excellent on the “Sons of Anarchy” premiere.
- It’s gonna to be a sad day if the Lions ever become respectable and Dominic Raiola doesn’t want to pummel their fans.
- Brandon Pettigrew is convinced the government taxes you based on the length of your shadow.

Over/Under For 2010: 5 wins

Verdict: OVER

NOT A MISPRINT. THAT IS AN AUTHENTIC BAD PICK. Just kidding. Gonna come clean and admit that I’m one of the those suckers so besotted with these young Lions that I think they might even go 6-10. That towering achievement means, should Detroit not complete its transformation into rubble, fans will be marking anniversaries of this team in five year increments until the end of days.

GREEN BAY PACKERS

An obtuse example of misused numerology, or a frightening intimation that Aaron Rodgers is a three-headed Favre-hydra?

Key Additions: Bryan Bulaga

Key Departures: Aaron Kampman, Michael Montgomery

Five Fast Facts About The Packers:

- Brandon Underwood could teach Ben Roethlisberger a thing or two about rape technique. After all, you don’t get accused of sexually assaulting a woman in separate incidents, you get accused of sexually assaulting two women at once. THAT’S how you avoid getting punished by the league. Such an effective economy of rape.
- If the Packers do in fact win the Super Bowl as many expect them to, the only way the inevitable Cheesetardery can be even slightly mollified is if Aaron Rodgers spends the entire time on the Dr.; Robotnik Super Bowl trophy presentation pod doing his title belt celebration.

- Greg Jennings once mistook a lychee for a raspberry. BOY WAS HE EMBARRASSED!
- The Packers currently have the most players of any NFL team that were drafted by their current organization.
- Jermichael Finley is perhaps the most overhyped fantasy tight end ever. Which is precisely why I took him in two of my four leagues.

Over/Under For 2010: 9.5 wins

Verdict: OVER

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re gonna be good. But my hater talking points indicate Aaron Rodgers needs to stop holding the ball forever and their defense isn’t anywhere nearly as good as its ranking from last season would suggest. Pretty much any top-flight passing team is capable of carving up their secondary and there’s no way Charles Woodson duplicates the kind of year he had in ’09. Oh, and Drew claims the Packers completely misused Aaron Kampman. Apparently he’s better suited to being a sous chef.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS

I’m willing to accept Favre being canonized so long as it means he dies.

Key Additions: Greg Camarillo, Toby Gerhart, Lito Sheppard

Key Departures: Chester Taylor, Benny Sapp, Sage Rosenfels, Artis Hicks

Five Fast Facts About The Vikings:

- Brett Favre bitched on Wednesday about how the media way overplayed his indecision about returning to football. Oh, you poor COMPLETELY COMPLICIT CALCULATING little thing. How I weep gallons for you.
- Something I did not know until very recently: Bernard Berrian’s nickname is “B-twice.” Clearly not a fan of Calvin Klein’s old “Just Be” campaign.
- Ray Edwards draws his playing intensity from the fact that the Nickelodeon cartoon “The Angry Beavers” was not a bigger hit.
- Mike Florio is a fan of the Vikings. So really, it’s not all about hating Favre.
- Percy Harvin continues to struggle with persistent migraines that have dogged him throughout his football playing days. WHICH IS JUST SUCH A CONVENIENT EXCUSE FOR NOT SLEEPING WITH DREW.

Over/Under For 2010: 9.5 wins

Verdict: UNDER

The Vikings have a pretty brutal first half of the season, which isn’t particularly helpful given how vulnerable the team looks at the moment. Sidney Rice is scheduled to miss the first eight games. Brittfar’s gimpy ankle is going to prevent him from having the admittedly amazing season he had in 2009. And they’re about to play the Saints tonight with only three available corners. But at least Purple Jesus has promised that he’s done fumbling, which is nice, I guess. They have enough talent to keep even Brad Childress from condemning them to a .500 or worse record, but I see a dip to 9-7 coming.

/Drew smugly dismisses argument without offering a counter

WILL HE OR WON’T HE 2010 is officially underway–Brett Favre has reportedly told teammates that he intends to retire and not play in a 20th NFL season this fall. So he’s definitely gonna play now, right? While Brett hasn’t commented publicly, we’re free to speculate why the announcement came out now.

• Holding out hope for a spot in the Arrested Development movie.
• He wants to finish his career with the Heat.
• Holding out for a new contract; he wants to be the league’s highest-paid quadragenarian.
• NFL offices’ refusal to let Favre change his number to “double possum.”
• Still busy trying to chase BP executives off his lawn.
• He’s covered in oil! Derp derp derp!
• He hates training camp.

See you in Week 1, Brett!

Directed by the immortal Marty Callner
]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2010/08/and-here-we-go-again.html/feed 54 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/07/ksk-2009-nfl-prekkake-nfc-north.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/07/ksk-2009-nfl-prekkake-nfc-north.html#comments Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:30:30 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=16910
More Ragnar treachery to spur Drew’s bloodlust

It’s that time of year again, when we’re so devoid of content that, rather than spending time covering T.J. Houshmandzadeh making a stink about being only the sixth highest rated receiver in the NFC in the new Madden, we run through our predictably inaccurate prognostications for the upcoming year, division by division. Up next, it’s the NFC North, where if you’re not downing 8,000 calories a day, you’re dropping precious pounds.


Like that forced grin is gonna last

CHICAGO BEARS

Five Fast Facts About Da Bears:

• Jay Cutlerfucker has finally found a team where he can be appreciated, one with an outsized expectation to finally have a quarterback carry them on their shoulders and deliver wins seemingly out of nowhere. Yup, he’ll cave after three regular season pass attempts.
• Greg Olsen hopes to benefit in a newfound Bears passing game. And if those benefits include underage girls, all the better.
• Hoping to buck the impression that he’s an old guy, Orlando Pace logged onto Twitter the other day. The result: he and that porn bot following him are expecting four children already.
• Nathan Vasher will take no more of your Vasher bashing, young lady.
• The departure of Mike Brown leaves a gaping hole in the “effective safety when healthy but he’s usually hurt” slot in the Bears secondary. With a little gumption and some more bone spurs, Kevin Payne just might be that guy.

  Vegas Over/Under for 2009: 8.5 wins

  Verdict: OVER

  Cutlerfucker will make the Bears better. How much? Marginally. But in a marginal division, that goes a long way, at least in the regular season. The defense doesn’t live up to its recent reputation, but it has enough to lead this team to a division title.

  

  DETROIT LIONS

  Five Fast Facts About the Lions:

• Grady Jackson will eat all remaining foodstuffs in the Detroit area, thus engendering the cannibalism we have so longed for in this economy.
• Larry Foote actually wanted to play for this team. No joke. He did. All 16 games. He means it. Okay, not fair of the camera to linger on him to make sure he keeps a straight face.
• Maurice Morris missed his golden opportunity to star in the porn version of the Eminem vehicle, 8 Inch. In Gran Pornio, however, he will rectify this.
• Ronald Curry sounds like an Indian version of Ronald McDonald. Always bothered me that he hasn’t embraced this.
• Matt Stafford received $41.7 million in guaranteed money in his rookie contract, which will pan out to about a million dollars per completion percentage.

  Vegas Over/Under for 2009: 5 wins

  Verdict: UNDER

  Five whole wins? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Lions fans. This is a better team than the historically inept one that spread disgrace on thick last year, but you’re still throwing Daunte Culpepper out there (assuming Stafford doesn’t start Week 1) with no discernible running back, no secondary and only a slightly better front seven. Baby steps.

  

  GREEN BAY PACKERS

  Five Fat Fast Facts About the Packers:

• Jermichael Finley tried to cram Jermaine and Michael into one first name, did it, and spend a lifetime regretting it.
• Hoping to spring back from injury plagued 2008 campaign, Atari Bigby sat down, read through the Bible, noted some key passages, mulled them over, prayed for convalescence, and was met in his sleep by the beneficent god of dreadlocks, who vowed to listen to his pleas and share them in exaggerated anecdotes with friends. End result: laughter from friends, no better health for Atari.
• Former USC linebacker Clay Matthews pairs with former Ohio State linebacker A.J. Hawk to activate a water fountain. Matthews hits button while Hawk drinks. Sadly they figure this out after considerable effort out midway through the third quarter of Week 9′s game in Raymond James Stadium.
• Aaron Rodgers had a good statistical season last year. Any chance he can repeat? I dunno, ask these wonderful STATISTICS you place so much import in. DON’T THEY JUST KNOW EVERYTHING!
• Anthony Smith is really feeling this new Mos Def album. Sadly, he plans to listen to it in coverage.

  Vegas Over/Under for 2009: 9 wins

  Verdict: UNDER

  The Pack were 5-5 until they fell apart and lost five straight late last season. An injured defense, already poor, was even more porous down the stretch. They’ll be better, but not that much. An 8-8 finish is a step short of the playoffs, but one in the right direction.

  

  MINNESOTA VIKINGS

  Five Fast Facts About the Vikings:

• Chester Taylor mistakenly clicked on one of those Cartoon Yourself ads and now he’s stuck in an episode of Duckman.
• Sage Rosenfels hates Brett Favre, just like you and me. Not because he’s a goy, but because he’s a SOUTHERN goy.
• Percy Harvin, quite the weed aficionado, starts growing his own strain as a Viking called Major Glad.
• Having traded in on the 2008 dick flashing trend and lacking ideas for the 2009 season, Visante Shiancoe continues showing his cock following each Vikings game, drawing mostly apathy from reporters. That is until he puts clown makeup on his cock in Week 11. That’ll change everything.
• Bryant McKinnie’s nickname is Mount McKinnie. Mount McKinley’s nickname? Fuck you, it’s a mountain. No time for that prima donna shit. [Ed. note: Whoops.]

  Vegas Over/Under for 2009: 9 wins

  Verdict: PUSH

  With the imminent signing of Brittfar, the Vikings, a still very talented team at most positions, are trading one horribly inept quarterback for another. Rosencopter will likely bail him out at one point, though he’s not a whole lot of an upgrade. No matter, as the weakness at QB can and will be exploited handily. If they deal well with early season suspensions to Pat and Kevin Williams, they’ll be all right. Nine or 10 wins sounds about right.

  ]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/07/ksk-2009-nfl-prekkake-nfc-north.html/feed 49 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/05/f-k-you-brett-favre.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/05/f-k-you-brett-favre.html#comments Wed, 06 May 2009 15:45:12 +0000 Big Daddy Drew http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=14467

  My favorite team is going to sign Brett Favre in the coming days, or weeks, or months, or however long it takes that fucking asshole to milk the publicity machine to his satisfaction. It’s going to happen. Debating whether or not it will is a complete waste of fucking time. When it comes to the Land Baron, speculation always becomes reality.

  It’s fitting that it would come this. For years and years, I have fucking loathed Brett Favre with every fiber of my being. He is the single most self-aggrandizing piece of shit who ever walked the Earth, the most blatantly phony human being in America this side of Bobby Bowden. Say what you will of openly douchebaggy people like Matt Leinart or Spencer Pratt. At least there are no illusions when it comes to those gents’ intentions. Everything about Favre – from his style of play to his carefully cultivated everyman image – is complete bullshit, and everything about the man is tiresome, to the point where bitching about him being tiresome has become an even more tiresome enterprise than whatever it is that makes him tiresome to begin with. Not only am I sick of this dipshit, but I’m sick of being sick of him. And I resent that everyone is so tired of hating him, that I’m beating a dead horse by still hating him.

  I have always argued that pro athletes should play their respective sports as long as they damn well please, because it’s still a kickass job even if you aren’t all that good at it anymore. So I don’t begrudge Favre his right to play football, even if it’s for the Vikings. What I do begrudge is the fact that this asshole NEVER WANTED TO FUCKING STOP PLAYING TO BEGIN WITH. He knew the second he rererereretired earlier this year that he’d try and get his release so he could play in Minnesota. This whole myth perpetrated by Peter King that, “I don’t think even Brett Favre knows what Brett Favre is going to do” is the most insulting pile of shit I’ve ever heard. That fuck knows exactly what the fuck he’s doing, and anyone who says otherwise probably spends all day licking radiators.

  Make no mistake, when the Vikings end up signing Favre, it won’t be the final piece in some kind of championship puzzle. It’ll be the nothing more than the final nail in the coffin for Brad Childress. It’ll be the last act of a desperate coach who has spent the past three years wasting an otherwise talented roster on unimaginative schemes and an abject failure to produce anything of note at the quarterback position. This asshole had three fucking years to cultivate a decent QB for this team. Three. A fucking lifetime in NFL years.

  Instead, he insisted he could develop Tarvaris Jackson, who can play the position somewhat decently only when there is nothing important to play for. Jackson was drafted by Fran Foley, the onetime Vikings personnel director who was immediately fired after the Jackson draft, for warning his secretary there would be a coming “bloodbath” (his word): a mass firing of scouts and team administrators. Foley traded two third-round picks to select Jackson, whose predraft grades (most pegged him as a late round pick to rookie free agent) immediately made his selection the equivalent of the Raiders’ Michael Mitchell pick two weeks ago.

  The Vikings could have made any number of moves in recent years to give Jackson competition, or to outright replace him. They had a chance to trade for Matt Schaub. They had a chance to draft any number of other QB’s. They could have traded for Jay Cutler, regardless of whether or not you found his price too exorbitant. Instead, they did virtually nothing until trading for Sage Rosenfels earlier this year. It’s an indictment of just how poorly prepared Jackson is that Rosenfels, who averages one interception for every 20 fucking pass attempts, represents a colossal upgrade at the position.

  And now, only now, after time and again fucking up the QB situation, does Childress feel urgently compelled to seriously upgrade the position. And how is he going about it? By making late overtures to an erratic 39-year-old journeyman with half a bicep. Hey shitbox, you already have an erratic journeyman on the roster. Do we really need fucking multiples of them?

  I’ve heard arguments in the Minnesota media that, while Favre almost certainly offers no January promise for the Vikings, that his presence will at least make the coming season more interesting. Well, you know what? I don’t want my team to be fucking interesting. I want my team to fucking WIN. I’ve seen this team do the interesting thing before, with Denny Green and Randy Moss and all that shit. It was fun. But ultimately, it ended up going to shit.

  Interesting teams don’t win it all in the NFL anymore. If you want to win a Super Bowl, you’re better off being the most boring fucking team alive. Look at the Steelers. They change coaches once every two decades. They never sign big name free agents, particularly those “he’s the final piece!” type free agents. They don’t do any of that shit. They keep things running smoothly, and then they go win titles. And they don’t sign players I fucking despise.

  That’s the biggest dagger of all in this whole shitshow. That seething hatred I have of Brett Favre is part of who I am. It’s ingrained in my very being. When I die, my body will turn into nothing but solid black ash. I won’t go to Heaven. I won’t go to Hell. I’ll simply stop existing. Not a trace of me will be left, on this plane or any other. But, even then, I assure you I’ll still find a way to fucking hate Brett Favre.

  And now, as a final, personal FUCK YOU to every Viking fan like me who ever wished him dead, that fuckface is now going to make it so I have to root for him. I actually have to cheer when he goes and does something good. And that makes me hate his fucking guts all the more. Because now I’m supposed to buy into all his bullshit.

  That fucking fuck.

  Well, fine. If that’s the way it has to be, then so be it. I’ll root for you in a Vikings uniform, Favre. But just know that I will hate every goddamn minute of it. Just know that never has loving a sports team been more exposed as a thoughtless, irrational, singularly idiotic pursuit than in this coming instance. Just know that I will fucking hunt you down with a goddamn bow when you end up fucking us in the end. And you will fuck us. Just know I’m far more excited by the thought of you getting booed at Lambeau than the thought of you being cheered at the Metrodome.

  Just know that your new head coach is an incompetent, arrogant fuckwit who couldn’t place an order at a Sonic drive thru without fucking it up and triggering some sort of biochemical attack.

  Just know all that before you sit down for your little powwow with Brad Childress, Farvaro. You fucking pussyflap. Oh, I’ll cheer you on, you fucking Hollywood redneck cockpuller. I’ll pull for you every step of the way, you miserable shit volcano. I’ll cherish your token three good games during the season that make Collinsworth flood his pants, you blood-soaked pantyliner.

  I’ll do all that that.

  But I’ll never stop hating you.

  Fuck you.

  ]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/05/f-k-you-brett-favre.html/feed 256 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/jared-allen-acquisition-transforms-weatherman-into-beavis.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/jared-allen-acquisition-transforms-weatherman-into-beavis.html#comments Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:01:27 +0000 flubby http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=1797

  

  What weatherman Chris Shaffer of WCCO-Minneapolis lacks in subtlety, he more than makes up with in enthusiasm. Chris is excited about the Jared Allen trade. Really, really excited.

  ]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/jared-allen-acquisition-transforms-weatherman-into-beavis.html/feed 34 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/big-daddy-drew-reacts-to-the-jared-allen-trade.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/big-daddy-drew-reacts-to-the-jared-allen-trade.html#comments Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:01:39 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=1754

  And thus ensued a great e-mail thread slap fight between Drew and the Maj for reasons homersexual in nature.

  Maj: But they did more than just that. The Vikings also signed Allen to one of the largest contracts in NFL history, a six-year, $74 million deal with $31 million in guarantees.

  /laughs uncontrollably
  
  Drew: I have no problem whatsoever with that contract. He’s arguably the best defensive end in the league.

  Maj: Your boys are giving 31 mil guaranteed to a white guy who doesn’t play quarterback. You be fucked.

  Drew: Did you expect a DPOY candidate to cost $2.50? Giving $20 million combined to B-Lloyd and Randle El is being fucked. Giving $31 million to a proven All-Pro still in his prime is, uh, not dumb.

  

  Maj: Did they already come out with the ’08 DPOY candidate list?

  Drew: They had the most cap room of any team in the league. I thought the Williams signing was idiotic. I think this signing is good.

  They front load the cap hit on all their contracts, so that they don’t have cap issues further down the line. They’re the opposite of the Redskins.

  Allen was a DPOY candidate in 2007, retard.

  Maj: There is no such thing as a DPOY candidate! It’s not like they nominate four guys and pick one.

  What does any of that have to do with the Redskins? I think it’s been established that they’re run by fucktards.

  Drew: Yes, but it’s fun to point it out constantly.

  ————————————–

  Whoa whoa whoa, prickly Penelopes. See how even the slightest whiff of NFL news turns us from latent to flaming?

  Could such sublimated animosity spill over into our mock draft? Maybe just verbosity.

  \hat tip to The Internet is Terrible for the vike pic

  ]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/big-daddy-drew-reacts-to-the-jared-allen-trade.html/feed 52 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/major-dad-vs-lt-eckhardt-who-ya-got.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/major-dad-vs-lt-eckhardt-who-ya-got.html#comments Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:30:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/major-dad-vs-lt-eckhardt-who-ya-got.html

  

  It may not mean much in the grand scheme of the league, this meeting of the 2-4s, but it does mark the first showdown between Andy Reid and his former coordinator, Brad Childress. And it may be the last. They were once allies, now they’re – well, they’re not really bitter foes. But they have embittered the fans of their respective teams. Let the bad blood flow while they still have jobs. WHO YA GOT?

  Contestants

  Brad Childress_______________Andy Reid

  Sobriquet

  Bald Clueless _______________Fatty Lumpkins

  Mustache dye color

  Auburn___________Honey mustard sauce

  Secret weapon

  Purple Jesus_________The best white receiver who isn’t Wes Welker

  Preferred weapon

  Shitty quarterback________________Whiny quarterback

  Innovations

  Keeping best player on bench___________McDonald’s as a pizza topping

  Shameful admission

  Outshined by Mike Tice_____________Has sons dumber than Mike Tice

  Weakness

  Passing on 3rd and short _____________Bacolate and scrapple

  Finishing move

  Three and out____________Finishing move? Wait, so you’re not finishing that?

  Note: Reader Michael D. insists that Michael Jeter’s version of Mr. Noodle is a better Brad Childress doppelganger. You be the judge.

  Credit to Welcome to Tardville for the Reid pic.
  ]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/major-dad-vs-lt-eckhardt-who-ya-got.html/feed 13 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html#comments Mon, 24 Sep 2007 01:39:00 +0000 Big Daddy Drew http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html
  It’s like being tied to a chair and forced to watch your girlfriend fuck Jimmy Fallon.

  Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckkity fuck.

  ]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/09/fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.html/feed 22