More Ragnar treachery to spur Drew’s bloodlust

It’s that time of year again, when we’re so devoid of content that, rather than spending time covering T.J. Houshmandzadeh making a stink about being only the sixth highest rated receiver in the NFC in the new Madden, we run through our predictably inaccurate prognostications for the upcoming year, division by division. Up next, it’s the NFC North, where if you’re not downing 8,000 calories a day, you’re dropping precious pounds.

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What weatherman Chris Shaffer of WCCO-Minneapolis lacks in subtlety, he more than makes up with in enthusiasm. Chris is excited about the Jared Allen trade. Really, really excited.

And thus ensued a great e-mail thread slap fight between Drew and the Maj for reasons homersexual in nature.

Maj: But they did more than just that. The Vikings also signed Allen to one of the largest contracts in NFL history, a six-year, $74 million deal with $31 million in guarantees.

/laughs uncontrollably

Drew: I have no problem whatsoever with that contract. He’s arguably the best defensive end in the league.

Maj: Your boys are giving 31 mil guaranteed to a white guy who doesn’t play quarterback. You be fucked.

Drew: Did you expect a DPOY candidate to cost $2.50? Giving $20 million combined to B-Lloyd and Randle El is being fucked. Giving $31 million to a proven All-Pro still in his prime is, uh, not dumb.

Maj: Did they already come out with the ‘08 DPOY candidate list?

Drew: They had the most cap room of any team in the league. I thought the Williams signing was idiotic. I think this signing is good.

They front load the cap hit on all their contracts, so that they don’t have cap issues further down the line. They’re the opposite of the Redskins.

Allen was a DPOY candidate in 2007, retard.

Maj: There is no such thing as a DPOY candidate! It’s not like they nominate four guys and pick one.

What does any of that have to do with the Redskins? I think it’s been established that they’re run by fucktards.

Drew: Yes, but it’s fun to point it out constantly.

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Whoa whoa whoa, prickly Penelopes. See how even the slightest whiff of NFL news turns us from latent to flaming?

Could such sublimated animosity spill over into our mock draft? Maybe just verbosity.

\hat tip to The Internet is Terrible for the vike pic

It may not mean much in the grand scheme of the league, this meeting of the 2-4s, but it does mark the first showdown between Andy Reid and his former coordinator, Brad Childress. And it may be the last. They were once allies, now they’re – well, they’re not really bitter foes. But they have embittered the fans of their respective teams. Let the bad blood flow while they still have jobs. WHO YA GOT?

It’s like being tied to a chair and forced to watch your girlfriend fuck Jimmy Fallon.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckkity fuck.