Dear Mr. Goodell,

My name is Timmy and I want to help you fix the NLF lockout. It is not good when peeple disagree on things and money and I want to help.

I think you should yell at the owners and the players. Yelling is not nice but like my daddy says sometimes peeple have shit in their eers and need a little pepp in their steps. When my brother Joey doesn’t clean his room Daddy yells at him and Joey cries and then cleans his room. When Joey wants ice cream and I have the last bowl he yells at me and I cry and then he takes my ice cream.

Sometimes when Daddy comes home late Mommy yells at him a lot, but then he hits her in the face and she either stops or she sleeps in the car. My dad says you should try that with Mike Brown. I thought he was a basketball coach?

When Mommy asked Daddy for more money to buy a new necklace he pushed her down the stairs and she hit her head. Mommy said to tell all my friends that she just fell and wasn’t drop kicked in the face like John Cena. I didn’t want to but then she gave me ice cream.

The football players want more money but you should say no to them. That is greedy. Uncle Tim says that football players are just a bonch of hooligans. What is a hooligan? Is that like when the UPS man parks around the corner and helps Mommy rearrange the furniture in the bedroom?

I am here to help you so I cant wate to heer from you.

Yours Truly,

Timmy

Roger Goodell wrote a letter to the players. We made fun of it. Poorly.

Click to embiggen.

I like the part where it says “National Football League.” It’s very understated.

All history should be taught like this. It’s good learnin’. Big ups to Texasfanhouse for this video. It’s most excellent. Ufford only wishes it included Miss Gossip somewhere so that he could masturbate to it.

Have a great weekend ladies and gentlemen…