I don’t particularly care whether or not the losing team in the Super Bowl races out to midfield to shake the hands and grab the dicks of the winners. Lack of sportsmanship nonsense provides nothing but fodder for the sanctimonious sports media news hole. We jumped on Belichick’s snub two years ago because it was yet another knifetwist after the Patriots Super Bowl loss. What irks me is the double standard shown by the same moralizing commentators who heaped scorn on Belichick for racing off the field, while for Peyton Manning they supply only fawning remarks about his competitive spirit and willingness to defer the spotlight to the Saints. BS – they’re both spiteful asswipes who hate to lose and don’t want the opportunity for more photo ops of them displaying dejection on the playing field. I don’t care if Belichick did it with a second on the clock or that Peyton did some make-up sexting with Drew Brees later to atone for it. The principle remains the same.

Also:

Pregame: Drunk Colts fan tails Saints fans on the upper concourse, serenading them with the makeshift parody “When the Saints Go Crawling Home”

Postgame: Drunk Saints fan attempts to reunite taunting banner made by Colts fan with its owner. I am not sure he is actually committed to this endeavor.

I ran into The Conquistador at the Madden Bowl party tonight in Miami. Guy has so much poise he didn’t even know what to say when I asked him about his poise. The full interview tomorrow will be up at The Sporting Blog.

Beef Moe, however, he’s never at a loss fo’ words. Fo’ sho’.

“He didn’t even say anything about shrimp cocktail! No honorary cedilla for him! We just learned what those are because Garkonia has one! Peyton should have a cedilla on every letter. But a CAPTAIN’S cedilla!”

-Derique from Munçhie

The origin story of Jerome Bettis is at long last revealed! Try to contain your shock and/or fallout of your cranial explosion.

The full interview with Le Autobus is available at The Sporting Blog. I promise that only the first few minutes are dedicated to unfathomable sexual acts you will never be able to unsee.

As could be reasonably expected from watching it on TV, Media Day is where 3,000 press whores converge to ask about 20 players from each team the same five questions over the span of two hours. Additionally there are a couple more non-traditional whores and American Idol reps with zany gimmicks on hand to provide mild respite for the frenzied accredited search party engaged in mad pursuit of a halfway compelling sound byte.

Not wanting to spend one of the few times with actual access among the Freeney Ankle Horde, or the Fellatin’ Peyton Brigade, I went off in search of what comedy I could find.

Me: Hey Peter, I’m Mike Tunison with Kissing Suzy Kolber. We’re the ones who do that weekly spoof of your column. You’ve been in touch with Drew Magary about it.
Peter King: Well, I’ve never talked with him.
Me: All right, well, you’ve exchanged e-mails.
PK: Fine.
Me: Anyway, I wanted to know if you’d be willing to do a short video interview for the site. I could ask you some questions about the column. You could even trash us or defend yourself to our readers.
PK: Yeah, you know. I don’t want to be involved with the nonsense you guys do over there.
Me: That’s all right. If you don’t want to, that’s cool.
PK: I’d really rather not.
Me: Okay. Thanks anyway.

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Here it is, everybody – the never before seen Focus on the Family ad airing during Super Bowl XLIV that features Tim Tebow decrying the evils of smishsmorshions. I can’t wait for Tostitos to counter during the Oscars with an ad that has Ricky Stanzi calling for a flat tax.

And, as a chaser for all that tasty fundamentalism, here’s the actual commercial submitted by the gay dating site ManCrunch.com that CBS is trying to quietly decline without pissing off the Human Rights Campaign too badly. Even if they’re better off without another representation of homosexuality as bizarre and disturbing, err, I mean, HURRR LOOGIT DEM QUEERS PAWIN’ AT ONE ANOTHER! UNNATURAL AND SICKENIN’ IS WHAT IT IS!

New Orleans: It has “soul”, which is what white people call character, if character is infused with voodoo, jazz and dark skin. The Big Easy is rife with flaws, some merely depressing but most at least interesting. The city also has a compelling redemption story, which is linked inextricably to art forms, cuisine and other cultural rituals that either originated in or have come to define it. The locals also bond tightly over the Saints, a team whose rise would parallel their own, if only New Orleans got good as quickly as the Saints have.

Indianapolis: It has a good football team, which is celebrated by the local populace by appropriating another region’s signature icons and culture because Indianapolis lacks one of its own. Wave those Terrific Towels, everybody! You’re the 12th Man! A chain restaurant of your choice wants to host your Super Bowl party! They got sliders!

There may very well be less desirable places to live than Indianapolis, but you’d be hard pressed to find one that’s more bland or nondescript. For God’s sake, their governor is wagering that infernal shrimp cocktail AGAIN!

Meanwhile, the cities’ respective art museums (surprisingly, Indy’s isn’t only filled with TGI Friday’s wall decor) are engaged in an escalation of pretentious wagers during the early run-up to the championship. I think the New Orleans museum is just baiting Indy until they put up the world’s biggest ball of takeout menus.

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are incredibly excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Up next, it’s Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio.

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The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are incredibly excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Miami! Up first, it’s Inglourious Basterds’ Lt. Aldo Raine.

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