Rape is certainly no laughing matter, despite the fact that we poke fun at it on a near hourly basis on this blog. But in the real world, it isn’t. That is, unless a woman fabricates a patently ludicrous story of a rape or assault by a celebrity, then that’s a whole ‘nother story. It’s the tender tale of Fake Rape. And it’s the laugh riot of the year. Two such examples cropped up just before this 2009 season got underway. Now that the accused square off on the football field, with nothing on their mind than a little permissible forced entry, we examine the accusers and their lying lies that aren’t true. So, WHO YA GOT?
Andrea McNulty_________________________Tila “Tequila” Nguyen
Defendant
Ben Roethlisberger_______________________Shawne Merriman
For the crime of
Unwanted Bentrain ride to sextown_______________Fistual neck hugging
How she crazy?
Romancing fake soldier over the Internet_______Stripping nekkid before storming out to drive home drunk
Will her case go to trial?
Probably_______________________Not even if she blows the DA (she tried)
Things she would buy with cash settlement?
Rescued palomino from the Raped Horses farm_____________Scented boob job
Preferred form of rape
The kind she agrees to then sues for later____________Chokerape
No means…
Something if you’re not famous____________________She’s not drunk yet
Sound the rape whistle, Buster!
Do all women fall for the “come fix my TV” ploy?
Then again…
Initiating move
I DIDN’T_______________________________ME NEITHER!
Finishing move
Wait a year and find out_______________________Mystery rape children!
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