‘He’s so white, he could snort himself.’ Fans of white receivers with substance abuse issues fear not, because your poster boy will not be suspended for violating the terms of his drug program. Matt Jones’ agent Dave Butz tells ESPN, “That’s the main message — that Matt will be available to any team looking for a proven receiver.” The secondary message? Being white in the NFL is awesome! [ESPN]

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The New England might have missed out on the playoffs, but that just means they’ll have extra time to scout for the 2009 NFL Draft before Scott Pioli bolts town. So which player can you expect to draw the eye of Red Sox Nation? Well let’s just say he’s a former baseball player who played SIX positions before settling in as a receiver for the Rice Owls (former home of one Larry Izzo). Sure James Casey is a 24 year-old sophomore with limited football experience, but by god, look at that white man spin!

He’s like Welkah! mixed with a white Troy Vincent!

View the whole album here. I’m going to a wedding this weekend. I’m going to guarantee I look just as stupid. Fucking wedding photographers. QUICK CATCHING US OFF GUARD!

NOTE: This probably isn’t actually Eli’s wedding, given that his wife isn’t wearing a wedding dress. Unless she’s one of those brides clever enough to change out for the reception. But we’re KSK, so accuracy can suck it.