Despite consultation with the media savvy, I’m unable to determine what exactly this video is intended to promote. The Falcons? Rogers & Hammerstein aren’t going to move season tickets. Maybe it is intended to attract patrons of the musical theater? If so, Ryan and Baker have to qualify as the worst Curly and Laurey ever. (What, no kiss? This is supposed to be a wedding scene.) Furthermore how is serenading someone with the Oklahoma state song supposed to welcome them to Atlanta? This video is giving me tiredhead.

“C’mon Ryan, is this what we’ve worked on all week? From the top. One, two… step, slide… heel ball change. And Baker, you call that a promenade? We’re going to be here as long as it takes, people! Don’t forget your jazz hands!”

For reasons I cannot begin to fathom, this guy called selloutasaurus on YouTube recreates memorable moments in NFL history using toy frogs wearing gum-ball machine mini-helmets. Along the way, he incorporates low-tech special effects, old network broadcasts and constant non sequiturs. Sure, we’ve seen cutesy stuffed animal videos before, but these are downright surreal. It’s like NFL Films hired the Church of the Subgenius to produce a highlight film starring the Muppets.

The centerpice in the collection is an homage to Drew Peason’s disputed catch in the 1975 playoffs. The last-minute score gave the Cowboys a victory over the Vikings and introduced into football vernacular the phrase “Hail Mary.” In this Greatest Croaks series, a David Lynchesque disregard for continuity turns a 30-second highlight into a three-part (so far) saga detailing a historic pass’ trip around the world. Also available are reenactments of the Heidi Game, the Ice Bowl and a tribute to the Fridge.

And all you Pats fans, be sure to check out the Giant Snatch. Certainly seeing David Tyree played by Kermit the Frog takes some of the sting out of the loss. What’s that? You say it doesn’t? Good.