Another week, and another demoralizing loss for the Redskins. As if things weren’t quite bad enough the team will now have to do without Clinton Portis for a while after the running back sustained a concussion in Sunday’s loss to the Falcons. But fear not, Redskins fans, because Danny and the Sarge (pictured above looking like assholes) know how to keep the offense running smoothly in Portis’ absence.

If you think their plan has anything to do with leaning heavily on the perfectly capable legs of Ladell Betts (93 yards and a touchdown on 16 touches in relief of Portis) then you obviously aren’t all that familiar with the brain-trust at Redskins Park.

/chokes on half-smoke

Damn, they managed to catch me off guard with that one. After all this time you’d think that nothing coming out of Ashburn could possibly surprise me, then they go and admit to something like this.

Let me be perfectly clear, the Redskins have NOTHING to gain by signing a malcontent prick halfway through the season. Especially one who averages 2.7 yards per carry. The man carries the football the way DeAngelo Hall tackles people (a hug is not a tackle!). And really, even if they were looking at the 2006 Larry Johnson, what is the fucking point? Do they think that this season is somehow salvageable? Do they think that running back depth is the real problem? DO THEY REALIZE THAT LEVI JONES IS THEIR STARTING LEFT TACKLE?

Dan Snyder, you need to break this shit down. Break it down to the foundation, then grab a jackhammer and a backhoe and go deeper. Then when you have a nice big hole, throw Vinny Cerrato in it and hire an actual GM to come in and start rebuilding the foundation (that way Vinny can still feel like he’s a part of things). Redskins fans won’t even care if the team goes 4-12 next year as long as you lose Vinny, ignore free agency, load up on draft picks, and use said picks on guys who play any position other than wide receiver, tight end, defensive back, running back, or quarterbacks (at least during the first day).

You must have some really pivotal fantasy starters in this game (they better be on the Eagles) or else we need to look into some kind of live blog addiction intervention for the lot of you. This game will not be good. It will not be entertaining in the least. Don’t say you weren’t warned. I’m only tuning as a sick form of self-abnegation and to see whether Dan Snyder will dispatch his stormtroopers to cudgel the first poor sap dumb enough to stick a sign in front of an ESPN camera that suggests the team should be sold. Six Flags in PG has been an internment camp for such foolhardy fans for the previous three years. Somehow nobody has noticed.

Update: ESPN 980 reports that a Gibbs return is unlikely.

Yesterday Drew wrote a particularly satisfying rant on the topic of Dan Snyder’s inability to run a football team. While I didn’t agree with all of Drew’s points, most of his criticisms hit home for me and many other distressed Washingtonians. Of course not every Redskins fan agreed with Drew’s contentions.

Chris Chase is a writer for Yahoo! Sports who also maintains his own blog, The Player Hater’s Ball. It was there that Chase wrote his response to Drew’s rant. The post includes several questionable defenses of his personnel and front office decisions. So questionable that I felt some FJM style was warranted.

Note: In his defense, Chase (who is a perfectly nice person) tells me he wrote this post in the middle of the night after a few drinks, although he does stand by his assertion that Snyder is not as bad as owners like Bill Bidwell.

Briefly, the post says that the Redskins are the most hopeless franchise in the world because Dan Snyder is incompetant and shows a complete lack of self-awarness. I’ll agree with the first part and vigorously contend with the second. I think Snyder knows exactly what people think of him…

Knowing that people hate you and being self-aware are not the same thing.

…which is why he doesn’t do many interviews, hates the Washington Post and travels with multiple bodyguards to games.

None of which indicates that he’s the least bit self-aware. If he was self-aware he’d be more interested in why the team’s fans hate him so much, and possibly even make an attempt to rectify his behavior.

The analogy of Snyder to an out-of-touch fantasy owner was solid, and parts of the piece were spot-on and amusing, but there’s one huge thing missing from the rant: Most of Snyder’s delusion is fed by the very fans and media who are supposedly telling him he sucks.

There’s no “supposedly” about it, fans and the media waste few opportunities to express just how much he sucks. It’s pretty much our favorite thing to talk about at this point.

Every March most people affirm Snyder’s moves by getting excited about the team because of the free agent signings or draft pick the Skins get.

Of course we get excited about the roster, we’re fucking Redskins fans! That means we’re constantly deluding ourselves into believing that the team is one move away from overcoming our owner’s incompetence.

Haynesworth: People loved.

Pretty much every conversation about the Haynesworth signing went exactly like this…

“It sure is great that the team signed one of the best players in the league, but man, that’s a SHITLOAD of money to give a guy who misses a handful of games every damn year. He’s bound to get complacent, right?”

Pure, unadulterated love.

Drafting Laron Landry: people loved.

True.

Dabbling with Mark Sanchez: You’re telling me the fools who have been booing all season wouldn’t rather have Manchez at the helm?

They would, but that’s not to say Snyder and Cerrato weren’t criticized heavily by fans and the media (Snyder’s own radio station included) for openly gushing over Sanchez, because they were.

Picking “can’t miss” receivers in the second round: some people loved.

Really? Name one. Who was the one asshole who thought it would be a great idea to draft THREE receivers (two wide receivers and a pass-catching tight end) in the second round of the ‘08 draft. Because from what I remember people were screaming “DRAFT LINEMEN” from the fucking rooftops.

Hell, most liked the Adam Archuleta signing.

I think “liked” is too strong a word. How about, “most people didn’t want to kill themselves immediately after hearing that the Redskins let Gregg Williams bring in a safety who couldn’t cover anybody because they thought he’d at least be serviceable against the run.” Yeah, that’s probably more accurate.

EVERYONE loved Snyder getting Deion and Bruce Smith and Marc Carrier and Jeff George.

The ‘Skins were called “offseason champs”.

Sarcastically.

Is that a badge of honor?

No, it’s sarcasm.

No, but it’s a sign the team is a lot less hopeless than this piece suggests. It’s a sign that, at some points, people think the Redskins are doing OK.

No, it’s a sign that people were gently mocking the NFL’s brash young owner who foolishly thought he could use free agency as a shortcut to building a Super Bowl contender. You know, the kind of thing he continued to do for the next decade.

And why has Snyder learned nothing from his experiences?

Because he lacks self awareness?

He no longer brings in massive free agent hauls.

He gave Albert Haynesworth the most guaranteed money in NFL history.

He likes stability in his front office.

He likes keeping under-qualified yes men on hand to carry out bidding.

He didn’t go for the splashy hire.

Because they rejected his advances. Instead he went with the guy he’d just hired to serve as offensive coordinator. Weird how highly sought after coaches wouldn’t want to work for an ego-maniacal owner who already hired offensive and defensive coordinators.

But at least they showed signs of growth.

Towards what?

This isn’t a defense of Snyder…

Except when it is.

…(and forget about Cerrato, I’m beginning to think he has no actual power and is just a puppet)…

Beginning to think? BEGINNING?!

/rubs temples

Update: Chase responds to my selective quoting.

With no further adieu, on to the picks!

Minnesota -10 at St. Louis

The Rams aren’t bad, they’re fucking abysmal. Minnesota is due to deliver an efficient ass kicking.

Kansas City +9 vs. Dallas

The Cowboys are not a good football team. The only reason they’ve covered once in their last three is because Jake Delhomme is retarded.

Atlanta +3 at San Francisco

Those are three crucial points in such a close match-up.

Indianapolis -4 at Tennessee

Wait, what? Tennessee is crap. They aren’t going to suddenly bounce back to form because they’re playing at home on national television against a division rival. They’re going to get fucked in the ass by a man with a fetus for a head.

Enjoy the games, and if you see Dan Snyder be sure to tell him that he sucks.

Image via Flickr