The holidays are practically upon us, and with that the weather has turned cold.  Really. Fucking. Cold.

I spent about half an hour walking my dog one morning this week, then came back in and brushed my teeth.  And I was like, “Why is this water so warm?”  I checked the temperature with my hand.  Warm water.  Checked the faucet.  Cold.  Then I realized: it was so cold outside that the inside of my mouth had gotten colder than cold faucet water.

And yet, here it is, freezing weather, and all these models are without shirts.  So sad.  For them, I mean.

Just look at those poor, poor women. Totally unprepared for the bitter chill of Sexy Friday.  Perhaps I can warm you ladies up with some body heat?

What’s that you say?  The restraining order is still in effect and you’ve already called the police?

Fine.  Play hard to get.  I’ll still be a gentleman.  Here, put on a coat.  I’d hate for you to catch… something.