Kissing Suzy Kolber » vernon gholston http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com KSK is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:45:44 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Better Know a Draft Pick: Vernon Gholston http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/better-know-draft-pick-vernon-gholston.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/better-know-draft-pick-vernon-gholston.html#comments Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:37:00 +0000 Unsilent Majority http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/04/better-know-a-draft-pick-vernon-gholston.html
Name: Vernon Gholston
Nickname: Unknown (meaning I don’t know).
Suggested Nickname: Unknown (at least until he says otherwise).

Height/Weight: Statuesque.
Body Type: After his pro day one NFL coach told KSK (on the condition of anonymity), “that kid’s body makes me harder than an enema from my Puerto Rican nurse.” And that coach was Monte Kiffin.

Early Aspirations: Before football Vernon was a pre-teen body builder. Meaning yes, even a pre-pubescent version of Vernon could kick the living shit out of your pathetic blog reading ass.

Speed: Big Ten-ish.
Muscles: Medium twitch.

Urine Sample: Intensity.
Stool Sample: Steamy.

Who Wants Him: Oakland. But to be fair, they also shown interest in a panda who is purported to have been trained to play right guard.

Stupid panda. You have to keep your paws inside the shoulders if you’re going to contain the pass rush.

Who Will Take Him: St. Louis. Because fuck Chris Long, that’s why.

Immediate Impact: Bone crushing.
Down the Road: A locker filled with enough steroids to stock a Mexican pharmacy.

Previously on Better Know a Draft Pick…
Matt Ryan
Glenn Dorsey
Darren McFadden

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