We’re here, we’re here. Please don’t start without us. This is your open thread for today’s game. Live blogs are on tap for tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy the offensive stylings of Drew Brees and…David Akers! We’ll be under way just as soon as Huey Lewis and the News go away forever.
I had a TA in college who was obsessed with Rambo: First Blood Part II the way Bill Simmons obsesses over every other Sylvester Stallone movie. I had to write a paper about this piece of crap, which, if memory serves, was awful. Needless to say, the movie (and my paper) would have been ten times better if it was two hours of Eli Manning making his stink face at confused Vietnamese people.
Your Unnecessary Purchase of the Week is the stuffed panda chair designed by Fernando and Humberto Campana. I know a lot of morons look at works of modern art and piss all over them by saying their five year old could do the same thing. I truly feel that way about this chair. If you’re going to charge $85,000, I demand a chair made out of an actual giant panda. So cuddly. So endangered.
Playoffs: 2-2
Regular season: No longer relevant.
Now that the Bengals and Lions are back home, the real playoffs are ready to begin. On to the picks!
Every time I see Raiders owner Mark Davis I am immediately reminded of Kathy Geiss from 30 Rock. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that Davis redecorated his dad’s office in a unicorn motif.
This article is filled with so many brutal quotes that it makes one wonder whether they were obtained through wiretaps and phone hacks. But seeing as how it appears in the Daily News rather than the Post, so we have to assume that Mark Sanchez’s teammates hate him enough to actually say these things in to a microphone.
The fun part is trying to figure out who said what…
The most salacious quote comes after the jump.
I was watching the early game when they showed a guy slicing brisket at some famous Houston barbecue spot, and thought to myself, “damn it, I really need to go to Texas.” Then I saw this photo from Cajun Boy, and thought, “f*ck Houston, that city is the worst.” Then I got pretty sad about not being in New Orleans. I could be anywhere in the continental US, and I’d still wish I was in New Orleans on the night of a playoff game.
As for the game itself: points, probably. Lots of them. Six at a time, with balls flying freely through the air. I see Drew Brees is doing his pregame song routine, so that means it’s almost time for Bob Costas to shut his sanctimonious mouth until halftime. Grab your bottle of bourbon (with a glass, if you’re feeling fancy), and settle in for a night of open thread fun.
We’ll be back tomorrow with the promise of live blogs.
Image via Yahoo!
The Houston Texans open up Wild Card Weekend at home against the Cincinnati Bengals in a match-up of teams that have zero chance of reaching the Super Bowl. The most recent line is -4 in Houston’s favor, but the Bengals easily win the crazy-ass tattoo match-up. So congrats to you, Mr. kung-fu monkey tiger thing. You are certainly more interesting and less predictable than this, the most Ohio of all body art.
The Texans haven’t actually won a game since narrowly edging out these same Bengals to clinch the AFC South title. Worry not, Taylor Jonathan Joseph Yates is moderately healthy and ready to lead his team against fellow rookie quarterback Andy Dalton. The site formerly known as Bodog lists the over/under on each quarterback’s passing yards at 210.5, so you fans of the forward pass should amuse yourselves in the comment section until tonight’s game.
This set of nesting knives from a company called Deglon come via the excellent Tumblr, Reasons to Go Broke. It’s over $800 for a set of four, which is a crazy amount of money to pay for any knives that aren’t world-class pieces of cutlery. I love my knives, and even the nicest one I received as a wedding present didn’t approach $200. But how do the most fickle Amazon reviewers feel about their purchase? Let’s check in with the item’s lone one-star review.
You would think that for over $800.00 they could give you the whole knife and not cut the middle out of the dang thing.
You make an excellent point, Mr. Amazon Reviewer.
Regular Season: 117-122-6
On to the playoff picks!
The folks at TMZ took a break from flooding my inbox with stories about Deion Sanders’ divorce to post some pictures of President Obama playing a game of beach football. Continue after the jump for a frame-by-frame breakdown of his quarterbacking prowess.
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