Note: Drew is unavailable today, so I’ll be tackling PK duties this week.

When we last left wistful reader Peter King, he was extolling the virtues of Brookline Booksmith, despite his fondness for the Kindle. So what about this week? Will Peter be satisfied with his stay at the Doral Resort and Spa? Will he be disappointed by South Florida’s lackluster support of their hometown hockey team? Read on.

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Miami is of course the place to be this week, with locals and visitors taking advantage of the sun and fun before tonight’s spectacle. Unlike our own Mr. Ape we are unable to experience the scene first hand, so instead here’s a brief photo tour of goings on in south Florida.

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Eli’s batting average rose precipitously after Olivia reminded him that he’s right-handed. SI has compiled a gallery of Manning family photos to keep us amused during the interminable lead-up to the Super Bowl. Eli At the Bat is probably my favorite, but there are a few other gems including Wet Willy, Peyton the Yankee, and Dear God, Don’t Look Under the Mattress! Peruse the rest at your leisure. [SI via Scott]

This handsome confection comes to us via Kendall’s Cakes.

It’s Super Bowl week, which means Bodog has unleashed their annual cavalcade of ridiculous prop bets. There’s something here for everyone, up to and including people with a passing interest in the game itself. Let’s take a look at some of this year’s more enticing offers.

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Nothing good ever happens after midnight in a Pontiac. Bengals linebacker Rey Maualuga was arrested in Covington, Kentucky after driving a Pontiac Sunfire into a parking meter and a couple of parked cars. Maualuga was charged with drunken driving and reckless driving. It’s the second time in 18 months that a former USC linebacker of Samoan heritage has been found driving drunk in a car unbecoming of a millionaire athlete. [Cincinnati.com via PFT]

First they gave us the glorious RedZone Channel on cable, and now they’re going to beam it directly to our cellphones. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the NFL intends to launch a mobile version of the channel in time for next season, which would be pretty f*cking awesome for everybody. Everybody except for CBS and Fox that is. Quoth CBS’s Sean McManus, “RedZone hasn’t hurt us yet, but we watch it very closely…” And as soon as it becomes too popular we will STOMP ON ITS NECK UNTIL IT STOPS TWITCHING. So yeah, good news for now, but let’s keep it between us. [WSJ]

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Welcome to another week of truly horrible gambling advice. I was 0-5 last week, which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone. I’m an awful f*cking gambler, and it shows. The more confident I am the more likely it is that my picks will fall completely flat. Sure, other people have made this claim, but I’ve really hit some kind of magical stride this season. So if you want to make some money you should probably be going in the opposite direction of my picks.

Or is this all one big reverse jinx?

No, it’s not. I just suck. On to the picks!

Will Kurt Warner retire before game 1 of the 2010 NFL Regular Season?

Ooh, this is a tough one. Brenda Warner says that the decision is between Kurt and God, and I assume that she’s not talking about Mark Bartlestein. A Jewish God, IMAGINE THAT! Still, this doesn’t give us a whole lot of insight into the decision making process. Let’s go to Kurt for a bit of clarification on the matter…

“It means I pray that God takes away the desire in me to play this game,” he says. “I’ve loved it for so long. I need Him to take that away from me, so that I can be comfortable with this decision.”

Don’t expect him to make any decisions, folks, he’s merely a vessel for Christ Almighty to do with as he pleases! Since Kurt is incapable of making his own life decisions we’ll have to consult with a higher power. What say you, God?

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