Welcome back for another edition of the Fantasy Sex Advice Mailbag, the mailbaggiest mailbag on the internet. This week we answer reader questions ranging from your standard fantasy football questions to Dorito dusted naughty bits. This week’s questions and answers are after the jump, and as usual all spelling is correct.

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LAST MINUTE MAILBAG REMINDER Remember to send in your submissions for the Fantasy Football and Sex Advice Mailbag before it’s too late. The sexy mail lady will not stand for your tardiness.

In the immortal words of Nasir Jones, “F*#k Jay Z.” Sure, Jay can still bring it, but if everyone listened to him we wouldn’t have a gem like this from DJ Steve Porter. The video is heavy on AI (with good reason) before venturing into our domain. First comes the remix of Jim Mora’s legendary “Playoffs?” explosion, then there’s Mike Gundy’s fantastic rant. Eventually (around the 3:30 mark) we get to the good stuff. Namath. Kolber. Autotuned. Enjoy.

Thanks to reader Tomas for sending this our way.

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But that’s not all you can learn from Marty B’s new video tour of his “house” aka Cowboys Stadium. Oh no, there is so much more.

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Over the weekend Ohioans from all over the state descended on Cedar Point to enjoy the rides and take part in the celebration of Brady Quinn Day. For one special young lady the day provided an opportunity to stand by gasping for air while the love of her life walked past her. Fortunately the Sandusky Register was there to capture her reaction to such a thrilling close encounter.

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Get ready, ladies of Houston, because the Sex Cannon is heading your way. Want to know what that physical will reveal? That the cumslinger is 210 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal, and he’s ready to go deep, all damn night.

That’s right, SI’s preeminent coffee and travel blogger turns 52 today. In honor of the momentous occasion we’ve compiled some first-rate gift ideas.

-Land
-Elite flyer medal (really just the plastic wings they give to kids to get them to behave on the plane)
-Red Sox championship ring
-Brett Favre stubble
-Walking cane
-Reimbursement from Schlereth
-Long term parking for one seldom used car
-Toone P. Wiggins gift card
-A copy of Coldplay’s Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends
-Season 3 of House on DVD

Continue after the jump for our own special gift to the birthday boy.

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MAILBAG REMINDER Are you concerned that your new wife won’t stop showing off her glorious funbags in public and displaying her ass on the internet? Does it bother you that her attention grabbing globes are only going to get bigger now that you’ve knocked her up? Are you considering taking a late round flyer on Philadelphia’s sixth best receiving threat? Well then your name is Hank Baskett and you should probably just shut the hell up and enjoy the ride. The rest of you can send us your fantasy football and sex questions for tomorrow’s mailbag. [KSK]

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