Saturday Night Live wraps up its 37th season tomorrow night. With that in mind, reader Zack thought this would be the perfect time for our favorite sketches. He’s definitely on to something, but that’s just way too many sketches for one Kommenter draft. In an effort to narrow your focus, we’re going to stick with the best of the SNL commercial parodies.

The parody has been a hallmark of SNL since the early days (Buh-Weet Sings), and they’ve remained strong over the years, serving as highlights in otherwise worthless episodes (Almost Pizza). There have been so many excellent commercials that NBC has produced four anthologies to highlight them.

Your task is simple. Draft your favorite commercial, wait ten picks, then go again if you’re so inclined. I will start things off with the GOAT, Bad Idea Jeans.

Int. Cowboys Executive Offices

Jason: Welcome, chums, to another episode of Good Eatings. Joining me as always, is my dear brother Judd. Brother!
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Earlier this week President Obama came out (insinuation!) in favor of gay marriage because he’s a secret gay socialist pirate who wants to force your teenage son to enter in to a three-way marriage with a Chinese Sharp-Pei and an old man who dresses like Truman Capote.

But what if you had the president’s ear and could get him to go on Good Morning America and throw his support behind the cause of your choice? Would you take the opportunity to end the embargo on Cuba, or go with something less political, like forbidding The Awl from publishing any more bullsh*t lists (f*ck your ground beef)?

I’ll start things of with an easy one. Legalize it.

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Football is bad for you (well not you, but for the people athletic enough to actually play). This is not new information. Football players are gargantuan monster people, and the helmets they use to bash each other can only do a so much to protect the skulls and goo contained therein. We know it’s dangerous. Repeating the fact every time a player gets a concussion isn’t making it any safer.

That brings us to today’s draft topic. What is one thing that you know is bad for you that you wish people would stop reminding you of every time you indulge? For me, the answer is clear: Meat.

I have no problem with vegetarians telling me how great they feel now that they’ve given up flesh. What I do have a problem with is those who remind you what a disservice you’re doing to your poor body every time you order hanger steak with a side of duck fat fries. I know that stuff is bad for me, but I’m at peace with my decisions. If you want to eat lentils like Hitler that’s fine, just let me eat what I want so that I can die how I see fit rather than perishing in a fart filled bunker.

So what is one thing you wish that people would stop ruining for you? Make a pick in the comment section, then wait ten more picks before taking another turn if you are so inclined.

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Day one of the NFL draft is over. All of those horrible mock drafts are more useless than ever, yet our mock drafts are every bit as relevant as ever (looking at you, hot sauce draft). Now turn things over to you, the commenter for the rest of the off-season. Every week we’ll provide a topic, and you fight it out in the comments to make the best possible selections. If you’re new to this, the idea is to make your pick, wait for at least ten more people to take their turn, then pick again if you’d like.

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Name: Kelechi Osemele

Age: 22

Position: Offensive tackle

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With the NFL draft starting in less than a week this will be our final KSK Mock Draft of the offseason. So many memories, you guys. Remember the Simpsons quotes? It resulted in over 600 comments and 5 pluses on Google + which is even more impressive because that represents 80% of all people using Google +.

The good news for you draftniks is that this doesn’t mark the end of your fun. Starting next week we start the commenter drafts. If you have an idea for a draft topic that we haven’t covered, feel free to send it in for consideration. And now, for our last effort. Continue after the jump to watch me screw up yet another draft.

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Name: Riley Reiff

Age: 23

Position: Offensive tackle

Height: 6’6″

Weight: 313 lbs

School: Iowa

Major: Interdepartmental studies. Corn and frottage to be exact.

Combine revelations: Suffers from t-rex arms, and isn’t that strong.

Twitter: Arms can’t reach the keyboard.

Potential Berman nicknames: Ramblin’

Nicest comparison: Joe Staley

Meanest comparison: Some offensive lineman you’ve never heard of.

Strengths: Athleticism

About that: Reiff was all state (South Dakota is a state) on both sides of the ball (tight end and defensive end) in high school. He also won multiple state titles in wrestling, competed on the track team, and lettered in golf. Ha. Golf. What a pussy.

/lettered in golf and nothing else because he is a pussy

Weaknesses: Lacks get away from the cops speed.

About that: He was busted for public intoxication as a freshman after stripping off most of his clothing and leading 8 police officers on a 20-minute foot chase through a Pita Pit in Iowa City.

Interesting tidbit: 20-MINUTE HALF-NAKED FOOT CHASE

Who wants him: Arizona

Who will take him: Buffalo

What the scouts are saying:

Immediate impact: Moves from left tackle to right.

Down the road: Fails to meet expectations because they are stored in the way back of the cabinet above the stove.

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