I’ve thought about it for nearly two weeks now, and I still can’t bring myself to root for either team. My wife is a Giants fan, which doesn’t really help me decide. As much as I want to avoid dealing with some weepy Super Bowl loser, I’m not convinced the alternative is any better. Either way, she’s probably going to cry.
A win for the Giants means they’ll have one more than the Redskins. A loss and Boston fans will be happy. There is no good choice here, no matter how I think about it. The only thing that makes me lean in one direction over the other is the idea of Eli having more rings than Peyton. But that’s hardly enough to make me happy about the outcome. This is why gambling is so important. All I have to do is commit to one team, and put enough money on the line to make a win satisfying.
On to the Super Bowl picks…
The Super Bowl bye week is the worst. No (real) football and limited gambling options make for a boring January weekend. I don’t hate myself enough to bet on the Pro Bowl, and I don’t know anybody willing to take the North in the Senior Bowl. The best way for you to put some money at risk this weekend to start up a Puppy Bowl Pool.
Dozens of shelter puppies will take place in eighth installment of Animal Planet’s Super Bowl counterprogramming. The starting lineup features 20 of the dogs we’ll see, and once again, there’s not a bulldog or corgi to be seen. Much less the elusive bullcorgi (we’re getting so close), the Britishest of all potential hybrid dog brees. However, there are a some pretty chill puppies.
I’m suggesting that people find three friends willing to put up an entrance fee to draft a team of five dogs. Whoever’s dog wins the Puppy Bowl MVP gets half of the money. The other half goes to the owner of the viewer’s choice. Draft well, and you can go for the scoop. Last year one dog did all of the work by himself.
/checks math
I don’t know why the website doesn’t reveal all of the dogs that participated back when they filmed this thing, but oh well. Let’s just assume that the winner will come from the starting lineup. After all, nobody is going to vote for the John Beck of puppies.
Continue after the jump for some puppies to target in your draft.
Adam Schefter is reporting that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are close to making Greg Schiano their new head coach, much to the delight of Peter King, who has been talking up his pro potential quite a bit. Schiano has spent the past eleven years overhauling the Rutgers football program from laughingstock to kind of not terrible all of the time. Thus ends a curious search that saw the team spurned by Oregon’s Chip Kelly after interviews with Marty Schottenheimer, Mike Sherman, Brad Childress, an older gentleman with a distinctive hat who kind of looked like Tom Landry for a minute, and token respectable candidate Mike Zimmer.
If the deal goes through, all NFL head coaching vacancies will have been filled. Mike Sherman will likely settle for the offensive coordinator job in Miami, while Schottenheimer can refocus his energy on guiding the Virginia Destroyers to a second straight UFL title. Assuming those are still things that exist, of course.
Our old comrade Punte posted a fun slideshow over at his new home. David Frei, a former NFL PR man and current god of the Westminster Dog Show, compared several of this weekend’s championship game participants to breeds that will be on display the week after the Super Bowl. Some, like Victor Cruz as a Whippet (lithe and athletic) and Wes Welker as a Brittany spaniel (white-bread), were dead on, while some miss the mark entirely. The most questionable comparison was easily Eli Manning as a Border Collie. Come on, Mr. Frei. You just compared this guy to one of the smartest and most reliable breeds to ever exist. That’s bullsh*t. We could get better analysis than that from Buck Laughlin.
If Elisha is anything he’s a Cocker spaniel. I once knew a Cocker who would piss all over the floor every time somebody walked in the front door. That’s the quarterback I know. He looks pretty good from a distance, he’s not likely to bite your hand off, and he’s the product of questionable breeding practices. Just look at that dopey bastard. You can hardly even tell Flubby manipulated the image.
Speaking of dogs, the Unnecessary Purchase of the Week is this £250,000 canine condo fit for a Super Bowl champion. It’s probably nicer than your apartment, and it even has a retina scanner to keep your poor dog on the outside looking in. Ugh.
Last week: 3-1
Playoffs: 5-3
On to the picks…
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