We’re in the dreaded post-draft period of the NFL offseason. There’s still no real football for weeks. You’re hurt. You’re angry. You’re hateful. We understand. At KSK, hating things is what we do best, which is why we have the recurring This Week In F**k You series, to soothe your white hot anger. This week: prestigious comedy hack Eric Stangel.

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Brah, I don’t even know how to react to that! First, I’m all, like, WHEW! There’s Coldplay on the Pod. I praise Brahman for Coldplay. But then you go drop bombs on my moms with the no DMB disclosure. That’s like play-action mindf*ck, brah.

Brah! Is your black brah trying to hang on to the lingering strains of his blackness? Nah brah, you gotta indoctrinate that black brah to chill tunes. Otherwise he could get crazy subversive rap ideas and turn into a gangbanging brah. That’s no way for a black brah to be. It’s dope that you got him on the Coldplay, though. Just add Rilo Kiley and he and Peter King can be tight coffeehouse brahs.

But you really gotta get him on the DMB, brah. It’s, like, not getting your daily dose of chill without it. RDA of DMB, brah. You gotsta have it.

You’re just dropping all the knowledge on the Tweeple today, Brahmaster Fuller.

Armen Keteyian’s investigation into the death of former Titans quarterback Steve McNair has ignited renewed skepticism surrounding the apparent murder/suicide. While revelations about the alleged shooter and her relationship with the young man who provided her with the murder weapon may be old news to the police tasked with investigating the crime, it has opened the door for outside observers to don their sleuthing hats. One such amateur crime solver has taken to Twitter to air his suspicions. Good suspicions. Lofty suspicions.

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It’s a good thing he’s not spouting off statements like this in the NFL Network studio. After all, Deion Sanders is a child of God now.

Eisen updated his feed, saying that the statement was the work of someone who hacked his account. Of course, he just now got around the deleting the entry. Therefore, I’m inclined to believe he caught some of the ruttish “G8 Fever” that’s been going around. S’ok, Rich, happens to all of us at one time or another.

Get ready, ladies of Houston, because the Sex Cannon is heading your way. Want to know what that physical will reveal? That the cumslinger is 210 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal, and he’s ready to go deep, all damn night.

Santonio Holmes is in the news today for beating a routine weed possession rap, but that’s not the reason we’re writing about him. No, instead we have it on good authority (okay, Cotter over at One For the Other Thumb told us) that Holmes changed his Twitter name to Pussy Monsta. Unfortunately, the feed is locked to the public, so one must get by merely with imagining the exploits of a pussy monsta, though the fact that he follows Shaq, Kardashian and about a dozen fine ass women is amusement enough.

flubby sums the change up nicely: “It’s hard to believe you could have a cooler name than ‘Santonio’ but then he went and unleashed Pussy Monsta. For me, that’s cooler than the game winning TD in the Super Bowl.”

I love those days where something awesome falls out of the sky and into our inbox. And today we have one such treat: it’s Brett Favre’s hillbilly cousin, and his Twitter feed. And you thought Twitter was retarded. Well folks, in the right hands, it can be AWESOMELY RETARDED. An anonymous friend from Heavy.com’s The Burly Show explains:

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Mortimer must be his butler. “Enough of the zany fun. Time to go to work. It’s a writing day in the King condo in the South End of Boston. Envy you, Mortimer.” [Twitter]