Tom is excused from the sixth rule of Fight Club.

Fresh off his knockout victory over defensive assistant coach Randy Hanson, head coach Tom Cable is eager to make the next step up the coachfight contender ladder. But that doesn’t mean Cable is about to let success go to his head. “Sure, a decisive victory is always great, “ he said, “but I can’t get cocky—this guy [Hanson] is just a low-level assistant; not even a position coach.”
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He doesn’t mow that field.  He cuts the grass. (Sometimes they let him paint the lines!)
He runs the hell out of a concession stand. He knows right way to top off a Pepsi so it doesn’t foam over the edge of the cup.
Every summer he helps the marching band raise money by eating their funnel cakes at the fair.
He spends his nights in a shed behind the field.
He “volunteers” at the weekly fish fry at the VFW post, but really he’s in it for the fry-batter.
He used to own a hound dog.  Used to…
The most expensive beer he drinks is Budweiser.
He did not purchase those shorts — he found them.
Though he has no children, he’s an avid supporter of the high school football team.
“You kids know about meth? I’ll tell ya about meth.”