Jerry Fitzharold and Edgie Wedgie are cold lampin’, dropping 23 bars of hot fire, chillin’ on the one, fresh to def, going for dolo and all the other stuff they picked up listening to Gang Starr’s Greatest Hits CD (Cop that shit!).

They’re also spitting rhymes outside the Pink Taco. Careful not to trample the field in its nice resting spot outside the stadium!

Say, that gives me an idea.

/grabs cat
//plugs in razor
///gets clawed to death by cat

I ran across this Buzzsaw fan video last night and I think it resonated with me because the Cardinals have always struck me as the kid who is lanky, ungainly yet oddly disarming in his aw-shucks loser-like qualities in the great metaphorical schoolyard of the NFL. I showed it to a few people, but it was fellow Steelers homer TheStarterWife who pinned down its components best.

2 parts High School Humorous Interpretation member of Forensic’s Team
2 parts Sports Fan
1 part computer bought by parents that should last him through college
1/2 part HS Theatre Troupe

Blend until frothy.

I would add one part Progressive Boink’s The Hangin’ Out Gang! if only to fill out the boyish earnestness quotient.

“Not jazzed ’cause yer big bro just caught ya playin’ the fool.

Glad that none o’ the hot babes caught ya”

As an exercise in fairness, here’s some creepy… dude? (NOT ME!) with his/her Steeler cat taking out a toy Cardinal. So bad is this video that it makes me want to disavow the team and my pet. And anything else I hold dear (‘cept the masturbating).

Larry Fitzgerald? Pfft. Ike Taylor can totally cover that guy!

/checks stats from last time Steelers played Cardinals

OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT

AND THAT WAS A GAME IN WHICH MATT LEINART HAD 14 OF THE 35 BUZZSAW PASS ATTEMPTS!

It’s like he’s catching all the passes… one at a time. LIKE A HUNTER!

Do something Ryan Clark! Feed him those salmonella crackers! He loves those!