Some of you assholes would score a little more ‘tang if you just opened your eyes and paid attention to the world around you. The reason all of these girls are dating assholes is because they want men that are assertive. They don’t really care if he’s frequently wrong about driving directions or occasionally punches them in the face. That’s the price of doing business to them. These broads are all about the ACTION!

Now I know what you’re thinking. “But Punte, I’m broke. I can’t afford to show women a good time. It’s a waste of money when I’m not even guaranteed sex.” You’re not paying attention, dick. Did we learn nothing from the legend of El Guapho?

“Why don’t you just take her? When you want cattle, you take the cattle. When you want food, you take the food. When you want a woman…you just take the woman. Why don’t you just take her?”

Now, I’m not advocating…you know. Well, I am, but in a subtle way. If she comes out and says, “Please stop having sex with me or I will contact the authorities!” then the jig’s up, bro. But of course you could gag her beforehand, or just wait until she falls asleep. But if you do that, you should cover her face with a towel, so the sweat from all your hard work doesn’t wake her up.

Oh, and one other thing. If you take that silent ninja route, you’re probably not going to get her off, so don’t try. I just thought I’d point that out.

I’m glad we had this chance to talk.