In what may be the most hilarious serious question of the young season, a headline in today’s Chicago Tribune asked, Is Jay Cutler the second coming of Tom Brady? Please enjoy:

The surprising thing has been Cutler’s ability to make the delicate pass. No one told us a cannon could dispense velvet projectiles. He has been so precise at times you get the feeling he could throw a football through a moving mail slot.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present… THE VELVET CANNON.

What a revelation! A quarterback who embarrassed himself with four interceptions in the team’s opener has capably executed a conservative game plan in two consecutive games to barely register victories. HE IS PRACTICALLY THE SAME PERSON AS TOM BRADY — if only Tom Brady were an artillery piece that fired rounds covered in the fur of golden retriever puppies, that is.