Nickname: Pep

Height: 6′7″

Weight: 283

Reach: If you can see him he can hit you.

Sponsor: Orange Julius

Ring Music: Eric B. and Rakim’s Relax With Pep

Hometown: Bailey, NC

Pedigree: Julius’s parents must have known their son was going to be a ridiculous athlete considering that they named him after Dr. J and Clyde Frazier.

Strength: He’s the best pure athlete in the competition.

Weakness: He’d rather be playing basketball.

Predilection towards violence: Ingesting the wrong dietary supplement could put him in a rage and/or lead to a suspension.

Fighting Style: Julius relies heavily on his ring generalship, aided by his brilliant footwork and outstanding reach.

Nickname: Low Daddy

Height: 5′11″

Weight: 255

Reach: Not much.

Sponsor: Athletic Nation

Ring Music: Grab Them Cakes

Hometown: Hanford, CA. The town that just started recognizing Martin Luther King Jr. Day last year is also the hometown of Tyson Chandler, Steve Perry, and steroid enthusiast Ken Caminiti.

Pedigree: Lorenzo was an All-American wrestler at Fresno State.

Strength: Putting people on their asses.

Weakness: Stubby fingers mean he’ll never be a great sax player.

Predilection towards violence: Because he doesn’t get nearly enough physical contact as a lead blocker in the NFL Lorenzo returns to Fresno each off-season to work out with college wrestlers.

Fighting Style: He’ll come right at you and brawl, but that style belies his technical abilities.

Yesterday we introduced the idea of a tournament to decide who is the true heavyweight champion of the world, and today we have an official 16-man bracket. We started with a list of some 40-odd football players before eventually narrowing it down to the current field. And as you can see by the masterful artwork on the bracket we’ve spent countless hours on this project.

Starting tomorrow we’ll be posting a tale-of-the-tape for each of the eight first round matchups and you’ll have the opportunity to vote for your pick to move on, or for Shockey to go home in a bloody heap.

Feel free to bitch about the rankings in the comment section, or congratulate us on a complete lack of Patriots.