It’s probably time to update everyone on our annual Suicide Pool. You know, the one where we can’t seem to get down to a final winner because you guys are just too damn good at this. Anyway, we’re down to 51 players after starting with over 1400, so we may whittle this mofo down yet.

In the meantime, I would like to recognize S. Gaddam, whose Monkey Tricks entry epitomizes what it means to be an American. Good ol’ Gaddam PICKED DETROIT IN WEEK 5. Gaddam, I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman, but you have balls that clank. Email me your mailing address and I’ll send you some P&G products, provided by the Take It To The House program and my Blogger Fantasy League. Hey, DayQuil Fighter Of The NyQuil controls its own destiny. If I win this week, I’m in the playoffs!

As for the rest of you pickers, we’ll recognize more sick picks in the coming weeks, so don’t be afraid to dangle your junk out there for the world to see. Good luck to everyone still in it.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it til you’re satisfied. Mailbag is coming.

When Princeton played Rutgers in 1867, they didn’t even have a real ball. They just had Rupert.

Rupert was a four-pound pit bull that belonged to one of the students. He was beloved, really. But hey, kids gotta play, and so Rupert was beaten to death outside of the Princeton bookstore, right before being stuffed and lateraled into puppy immortality.

Our site’s first cracks at maintaining our own suicide pool have run with similar, bloody results. That said, we managed to find a single survivor to take our $100 prize. And that survivor was PARTYJIHAD from the Welker’s Spheres. His prize is waiting, and we’ll send it out as soon as he gets in touch with me via email.

Congrats, and thanks to all that took part.

Okay, for that weird sub-section of people who have somehow had the patience and insanity to follow the Byzantine maze of KSK’s suicide pools this season: make your picks here.  Everyone else: move along, nothing to see here.

We’re down to 20, and this week’s matchups should ensure that Week 16 won’t be a repeat of last week’s snoozefest of everyone picking Philadelphia over Cleveland (save a few brave souls). This week, Cleveland plays the hapless Bengals, in a game that you’d wanna say “somebody has to win,” but the Bengals have blown that theory to shit.

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The three best plays arguably involve playoff teams, so if you’re one of the remaining elite, choose wisely. Get to it.

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DeepFriar Says:
TouchDownSyndrome
KSK 17 Sex Cannons United
Pittsburgh
Tennessee
New England
Philadelphia beats Cleveland

Felchy Says:
KSK17 Falco Memorial Pool – Felchy
Steelers to win in Week 12
Cowboys to win in Week 13
Arizona over St. Louis
Eagles to beat the Browns

Barry Duffman Says:
KSK17_THFR
I will kill you–
Pittsburgh to defeat Cincinnati.
Indy over Cleveland
Tennessee over Cleveland
Philly over Cleveland

NoRomo Says:
No Romo from KSK17 Cougs Rule:
Steelers over Bengals
Indy over Cleveland.
New England over Seattle
Philly over Cleveland

Roy Hobbs Says:
KSK17 Hines Smire Factoly (Group ID# 20147)
Tarr Leceivels Lure!
Benrongrastname
Steelers over Bengals.
Titans over Lions.
Colts over Bengals
Iggles over the Cleve Brownies

slims Says:
KSK 17 Warthogs (Group ID# 18619)
LA Saints 2009
Bears over Rams
Dallas over Seattle
New England over Seattle
Miami over San Francisco

HardcoreZorn Says:
HardcoreZorn (KSK17 – Say Chowdah!)
Tampa Bay over Detroit
Miami over St. Louis
Arizona over St. Louis
Indianapolis over Detroit

Cheap Dick Butkus Joke Says:
Cheap Dick Butkus Joke – KSK17 Snitch B. Kaczur
Dallas over San Francisco
Baltimore over Cincinnati
Tennessee over Cleveland
Philly over Cleveland

Nagasaki Handshake Says:
KSK17 – Goodell Justice – Davmattfan
Pittsburgh over Cincy
Indy over cleveland
Arizona over St Louis
Philly over Cleveland

Erin Andrew’s Snuke Says:
Erin Andrew’s Snuke (League: Purple Penis Eaters)
Steelers over Bengals
Dallas over Seattle
Indy over Cinci
Philly over the Cleveland

ElRanito Says:
Rod Smart – KSK17 Falco Memorial Pool
Pittsburgh over Cincinnati
Tennessee over Detroit
Indianapolis over Cincinnati
Philadelphia over Cleveland

Surviving on Sam Adams Says:
Surviving on Sam Adams-KSK 17 Defenestrators.
Steelers over Cincy
Dallas over Seattle
Indy over Cincy
Philly over Clev

Screamapillar Says:
KSK 17 Warthogs (Group ID# 18619)
Shit Slushies
Pittsburgh over Cincy
Dallas over Seattle
Tennessee over Cleveland

Trust Doesn’t Rust Says:
pittsburgh over cincy
Tennessee over Detroit
Arizona over St. Louis
Philly over Cleveland

sbrezins Says:
KSK171717 (Group ID # 20847)
NJ Water Specialists picks
Pittsburgh
dallas
Indy over Cinci
philly over cleveland

Bromino Says:
Lofa Tatupoontang
KSK 17 – Nana’s Tea Party
Pittsburgh over Cincinnat
Tennessee over Detroit
Arizona over St. Louis
Philadelphia over Cleveland

Schrute Farms Says:
KSK17 Cougs Rule
The Win that Never Comes
Steelers over Cincy
Dallas over Seattle
Denver over KC
Miami over SF

Katal Says:
Blue Team from KSK17 New Day Co-Op (19099).
Pittsburgh
Titans over the Lions
Broncos over the Chiefs
Eagles over the Browns

Paydro Says:
KSK17 – Underdogs
The Burnination
Tampa Bay over Detroit.
Baltimore over Cinci
Tennessee over Cleveland
Philly over Cleveland

partyjihad Says:
From Welker’s Spheres:
Dallas over Niners
Indy over Cleveland
titans over browns
pats over raiders

If we haven’t mentioned it earlier, we’ll pick games into the playoffs if need be. That’s significant, and keeps the “whoever is playing Shit Team X” stratagem in play more than ever. In the event we have a tie after the Super Bowl, we’ll split the $100 prize evenly with whoever’s left. No point in adding new rules midstream; this isn’t the XFL.