It’s probably time to update everyone on our annual Suicide Pool. You know, the one where we can’t seem to get down to a final winner because you guys are just too damn good at this. Anyway, we’re down to 51 players after starting with over 1400, so we may whittle this mofo down yet.

In the meantime, I would like to recognize S. Gaddam, whose Monkey Tricks entry epitomizes what it means to be an American. Good ol’ Gaddam PICKED DETROIT IN WEEK 5. Gaddam, I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman, but you have balls that clank. Email me your mailing address and I’ll send you some P&G products, provided by the Take It To The House program and my Blogger Fantasy League. Hey, DayQuil Fighter Of The NyQuil controls its own destiny. If I win this week, I’m in the playoffs!

As for the rest of you pickers, we’ll recognize more sick picks in the coming weeks, so don’t be afraid to dangle your junk out there for the world to see. Good luck to everyone still in it.

THE SUICIDE POOL  IS BACK. Click here to join. And then try to finish in the top 3 for prizes. More info coming; just get signed up already.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it til you’re satisfied. Mailbag is coming.

SUICIDE POOL UPDATE: 244 people are still perfect through eight weeks; that’s about 18 percent of our original suicide poolers. And yeah, there’s a better-than-average chance that there will be more than one competitor standing when we run out of regular-season games. If that happens, we’ll probably just hold a random draw for prizes, which will include a signed copy of Ape’s book, some awesomely low-tech football game, and other stuff. You can view the pool here, and we’ll have another update when the herd starts to thin out a bit more.

KSK will be running a suicide pool for the 2009 season. Register here. Password is “kogod” and you better get cracking. Pick one team per week. If your team wins, you advance to the next week. If your team loses, stick a fork in your ass, because you’re done. Oh, and you can only pick a team to win once. We will do something special for anyone that survives the entire season. If you win but flame out in Week 12, tough titties. Good luck.

When Princeton played Rutgers in 1867, they didn’t even have a real ball. They just had Rupert.

Rupert was a four-pound pit bull that belonged to one of the students. He was beloved, really. But hey, kids gotta play, and so Rupert was beaten to death outside of the Princeton bookstore, right before being stuffed and lateraled into puppy immortality.

Our site’s first cracks at maintaining our own suicide pool have run with similar, bloody results. That said, we managed to find a single survivor to take our $100 prize. And that survivor was PARTYJIHAD from the Welker’s Spheres. His prize is waiting, and we’ll send it out as soon as he gets in touch with me via email.

Congrats, and thanks to all that took part.

Okay, for that weird sub-section of people who have somehow had the patience and insanity to follow the Byzantine maze of KSK’s suicide pools this season: make your picks here.  Everyone else: move along, nothing to see here.

PICK HERE. Later, we’ll have a complete listing of who’s still in. But you can get your picks in now if you don’t feel like waiting. Consider last week a “bye” week. I don’t know a fairer way to handle that. My b.

We’re down to 20, and this week’s matchups should ensure that Week 16 won’t be a repeat of last week’s snoozefest of everyone picking Philadelphia over Cleveland (save a few brave souls). This week, Cleveland plays the hapless Bengals, in a game that you’d wanna say “somebody has to win,” but the Bengals have blown that theory to shit.
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PICK HERE. If you’re one of the 22 survivors of the SuperPool, come on in. Read the rest of this entry »

Punter’s the one usually in charge of the suicide picks, so I don’t really know how this works.  But if you’ve survived so far, you know what’s going on.  Get your picks in now and Punter will sort out the survivors.

Raiders-Chargers game is off-limits as soon as the game kicks off.