Excuse me for pointing out one more time that we’ve been hearing the same shit from everyone for some time. Bloggers are just incompetent fools in our parents’ basements. Bloggers face no accountability. Bloggers aren’t really journalists. And granted, one or more of those purported axioms may be true in a given instance. Here, they were certainly not.

Which is why Mike’s firing strikes me as so…I don’t even have a word for it. I mean, he owns a condo! He had a career working for one of the largest newspapers in the world. He was a fucking journalist! For the Washington Post! Motherfucker was behind enemy lines the whole time, knowing that, as all bloggers (and commenters) know, that discovery would almost certainly lead to termination.

It’s already been pointed out that Mike probably knew the futility of attempting to converge his two writing lives, though no one can seem to give a good reason why. The Post is now telling people that he resigned, which is interesting, given that he was escorted out by security. This event and the subsequent fallout are nothing short of amazing, really. And inspiring.

So inspiring, in fact, that we’re commemorating the event with a special set of KSK garmentry in Mr. Tunison’s honor.

The Christmas Ape tee comes in men’s and women’s cuts. We’ve also included a special cami, just for fun. And if you’re not down with the whole Steeler-inspired motif, you can change the color of the shirt before ordering (our advice: stick to the dark colors).

We don’t always salute our own. Today, we do. As The Maj would say, Mazal Tov, Mr. Ape.

Sorry we keep coming up with awesome merchandise that some of you are spending the final remnants of your lunch money to order.

Sorry that we didn’t have anything in our online shop to blatantly express your KSK love…until now.

This is the original KSK tee. You might recognize the logo from Ape’s WYG post earlier today, and it reads KISSINGSUZYKOLBER.NET on the back. It takes 1-2 business days to ship, so you can still get it in your hands before you head to Glendale or that one guy’s house that you don’t like, but has a really sweet TV.

Click the shirt or go here to order this shirt.

UPDATE From 289: To help you share the love we are offering 14% off all orders over $18.00 from Jan 21-Feb 7. Use Coupon Code LOVE308 (In Canada CADLOVE308).

Thanks.

We’ve just put up some new shirts for Eli, Marmalard, and even our dawg Norv. We’ll be adding more over the next couple weeks (Wade and Jerry, Purple Jesus, and a special Matt Ufford shirt, for example), along with some other hotness. Give the new designs a look, and don’t be afraid to request something that we haven’t thought of. Thanks.

As if we could really have an all-out Mike Vick day here in the blogosphere without an official wardrobe! When you go down to the courthouse for the trial of the century don’t be caught without your o-fficial FREE OOKIE! clothes (because nudity just doesn’t fly in those southern courthouses).

Our first number is a vibrant red cotton t-shirt with everybody’s new favorite motto scrawled across the front.
If you select the premium option you can even get writing on the back (the future is now!).

And as long as you’re out spending money on yourself why not pick up something for the little Vick fan in your family? Seriously, you need to take better care of your kids before the state gets involved.

And don’t worry ladies, we’ve got the goodness the fairer sex. Now just go find some sugar daddy to buy it for your stingy ass.
All the goodness can be found at our shop by clicking HERE (or the nifty picture up in the top right corner). Stay tuned because more great stuff is on the way.

I wasn’t the only one a fan of KSK’s merch. Every time someone gave it a look it got more than a polite laugh:

Now kids, did you ask your mom if you could come to the draft?

This guy named his kid after Troy Aikman. There is no punchline here.

Thanks, Slick. Up next: Part 3: Actually INSIDE the draft! Hooray!

Who is that gangly cracka?

I got up at 3:00 in the morning the day of the draft. It took me an hour to get all my shit together, and get to the 1 train from the Upper East Side. Because some delays with the train, I got to Radio City Music hall at 5:00 on the button, and the line was already three blocks long and seven people deep. Give credit RE: ESPN/NFL hype machine. According to the guys waiting on line with me, the line had never been that bad before.

I don’t remember when the gates opened up to take tickets. But I’d say it was about a 2-3 hour wait from where I was standing. It was light out by the time I arrived at the window, and I was one of the last people able to get tickets. All those people waiting behind me for three hours? Access denied. Early bird catches the worm, bitches. Better luck next year, and good luck getting those three hours of your life back.

As a consolation, the NFL set up an NFL fan-fest just next to the Time-Life Building about three blocks away, and invited fans to participate. “Fan-fests” at events like these basically mean “ridiculous amounts of product placement.” When the thing wasn’t even set up yet, I was able to get some pictures before it started to swarm with tired, pissed off fans.

Coming up: Part 2, where NFL fans frighten and sadden us.