Even though some of the commentary about Mike coming out of the blogger closet is reaching some pretty incredible levels of interest, coverage, and commenter rage, this asshole would argue that the attention is well-deserved. Not everyone will understand this.

Excuse me for pointing out one more time that we’ve been hearing the same shit from everyone for some time. Bloggers are just incompetent fools in our parents’ basements. Bloggers face no accountability. Bloggers aren’t really journalists. And granted, one or more of those purported axioms may be true in a given instance. Here, they were certainly not.

Which is why Mike’s firing strikes me as so…I don’t even have a word for it. I mean, he owns a condo! He had a career working for one of the largest newspapers in the world. He was a fucking journalist! For the Washington Post! Motherfucker was behind enemy lines the whole time, knowing that, as all bloggers (and commenters) know, that discovery would almost certainly lead to termination.

It’s already been pointed out that Mike probably knew the futility of attempting to converge his two writing lives, though no one can seem to give a good reason why. The Post is now telling people that he resigned, which is interesting, given that he was escorted out by security. This event and the subsequent fallout are nothing short of amazing, really. And inspiring.

So inspiring, in fact, that we’re commemorating the event with a special set of KSK garmentry in Mr. Tunison’s honor.

The Christmas Ape tee comes in men’s and women’s cuts. We’ve also included a special cami, just for fun. And if you’re not down with the whole Steeler-inspired motif, you can change the color of the shirt before ordering (our advice: stick to the dark colors).

We don’t always salute our own. Today, we do. As The Maj would say, Mazal Tov, Mr. Ape.

Sorry that we’ve been here for, shit, 18 months now, and we haven’t done as much as come up with a logo.

Sorry we keep coming up with awesome merchandise that some of you are spending the final remnants of your lunch money to order.

Sorry that we didn’t have anything in our online shop to blatantly express your KSK love…until now.

This is the original KSK tee. You might recognize the logo from Ape’s WYG post earlier today, and it reads KISSINGSUZYKOLBER.NET on the back. It takes 1-2 business days to ship, so you can still get it in your hands before you head to Glendale or that one guy’s house that you don’t like, but has a really sweet TV.

Click the shirt or go here to order this shirt.

UPDATE From 289: To help you share the love we are offering 14% off all orders over $18.00 from Jan 21-Feb 7. Use Coupon Code LOVE308 (In Canada CADLOVE308).

Thanks.

Please Do Not Consider This A Condemnation Of Public Nudity

We’ve just put up some new shirts for Eli, Marmalard, and even our dawg Norv. We’ll be adding more over the next couple weeks (Wade and Jerry, Purple Jesus, and a special Matt Ufford shirt, for example), along with some other hotness. Give the new designs a look, and don’t be afraid to request something that we haven’t thought of. Thanks.

As if we could really have an all-out Mike Vick day here in the blogosphere without an official wardrobe! When you go down to the courthouse for the trial of the century don’t be caught without your o-fficial FREE OOKIE! clothes (because nudity just doesn’t fly in those southern courthouses).

Our first number is a vibrant red cotton t-shirt with everybody’s new favorite motto scrawled across the front.
If you select the premium option you can even get writing on the back (the future is now!).

And as long as you’re out spending money on yourself why not pick up something for the little Vick fan in your family? Seriously, you need to take better care of your kids before the state gets involved.

And don’t worry ladies, we’ve got the goodness the fairer sex. Now just go find some sugar daddy to buy it for your stingy ass.
All the goodness can be found at our shop by clicking HERE (or the nifty picture up in the top right corner). Stay tuned because more great stuff is on the way.

None of us at KSK were able to attend this weekend’s draft. But longtime Deadspin commenter SlickBomb had the testicular fortitude to get up at o’dark thirty to go wait in line at 5AM for the draft. Here, he provides us with a photo diary/KSK merchandise infomercial. Big thanks to SlickBomb for this. Judging by some of the photos, he may have Parkinson’s Disease. We wish him a speedy recovery.

Read Part 1 HERE. Up now: A cornucopia of fans get their hands on the Internet’s hottest schwag. Click on any of the pics to see a bigger version.

Three fans of sub-par teams. Also funny? Outside of their appearance? The fact that but a few hours later the Raiders fan’s jersey would be out of date.

I wasn’t the only one a fan of KSK’s merch. Every time someone gave it a look it got more than a polite laugh:

The back of their shirts read “Anybody BUT Quinn!” It gets me even now.

A Giants fan covering his Strahan style gap-tooth, and a Bengals fan not playing cornhole.

The draft attracts all kids, but these guys were the freakshow’s freakshow.*

These guys loved not only the shirt, but the name of the website.

These guys were fans as well. KSK’s taking over the world.

It’s good to see what’s Lattimer’s been up to after his time at ESU. Also, the stuff in the brown bag? A 20 oz. can of King Cobra. You stay classy, Raiders fans.

“Now, act like your GM just chose the 4th WR in just as many years.”

A father-son Raiders fan duo. The Dad was convinced that if Rich Gannon stayed healthy in 2003, the Raiders were Superbowl bound. Just pure comedy.

Bills fans, rockin’ the shocker, not enjoying the J.P. Losman experience.
*I tease, but these were actually some pretty interesting people. They are the stereotypical “cool” aunts and uncle of Wisconson (now Browns’) OL Joe Thomas. They both came in from Badger territory to support of Joe, and to enjoy the city for the weekend. I got to speak with them again when they also snuck into the VIP section. Very, proud, happy, and nice people.

Thanks, Slick. Up next: Part 3: Actually INSIDE the draft! Hooray!

None of us at KSK were able to attend this weekend’s draft. But longtime Deadspin commenter SlickBomb had the testicular fortitude to get up at o’dark thirty to go wait in line at 5AM for the draft. Here, he provides us with a photo diary/KSK merchandise infomercial. Big thanks to SlickBomb for this. Judging by some of the photos, he may have Parkinson’s Disease. We wish him a speedy recovery.

Who is that gangly cracka?

I got up at 3:00 in the morning the day of the draft. It took me an hour to get all my shit together, and get to the 1 train from the Upper East Side. Because some delays with the train, I got to Radio City Music hall at 5:00 on the button, and the line was already three blocks long and seven people deep. Give credit RE: ESPN/NFL hype machine. According to the guys waiting on line with me, the line had never been that bad before.

I don’t remember when the gates opened up to take tickets. But I’d say it was about a 2-3 hour wait from where I was standing. It was light out by the time I arrived at the window, and I was one of the last people able to get tickets. All those people waiting behind me for three hours? Access denied. Early bird catches the worm, bitches. Better luck next year, and good luck getting those three hours of your life back.

As a consolation, the NFL set up an NFL fan-fest just next to the Time-Life Building about three blocks away, and invited fans to participate. “Fan-fests” at events like these basically mean “ridiculous amounts of product placement.” When the thing wasn’t even set up yet, I was able to get some pictures before it started to swarm with tired, pissed off fans.

The front of an inflatable obstacle course, which was for allowing for fat Bills fans to bounce around as fast as they can, leading I’m sure to considerable hilarity.


The back of the Sprint NFL-mobile truck. They were setting it up when I first arrived, but I asked if some other fans and I could get a sneak preview. Inside there was a mini highlight reel of plays filmed throughout the NFL season. Conspicuously absent? Marty’s yearly choke job, Chad Johnson’s end-zone antics, Randy Moss mailing it two games after the season, and Shawne Merriman doing his needle dance. Visitors even got to call an NFL play that was recorded and is presumably now on the Sprint Mobile website, although I didn’t check. If you want to hear me, search for William X, as I chose not to use my slave name.

Did you know Hummer sponsored the draft? True story. It’s funny, because I really couldn’t tell.

This was a tent that would later give out free copies of the ESPN draft magazine which ended up, predictably, being often very wrong. On the right, you can see actual real journalists doing the exact same thing I’m doing, but with better equipment, nicer clothes, and infinite times more money! +1 to anyone who recognizes him.

I also nabbed a few of these things at fan fest. When I saw this, I thought it was a 25 dollar gift card at Burger King. I took like 10. I was looting that booth like it post-Katrina N’awlins. As it turns out, though, it just might be 25 dollars—you have to go onto the website to be sure. Seriously not cool.

Coming up: Part 2, where NFL fans frighten and sadden us.