As you know, MTV doesn’t play videos anymore. They air shows like “The Hills,” which is half an hour long and has three lines of dialogue. Bill Simmons thinks it’s comic genius. That fact that Music Television is now 100% music-free, combined with the slow death of the music industry due to file-sharing, has all but ended the existence of music videos as an art form. You may still get the occasional big-name artist dumb enough to produce a $500,000 music video that comes out of his own future royalties (read the contract, Kanye), but those are few and far in between.

The Golden Age Of The Video has all but passed us by. And that makes me said, because music videos have long been an excellent source of hearty spank bank material for yours truly. That Big Boi sure knows his way around a big phat azz. A true humanitarian, for sure.

Videos used to be safe haven for chicks who were too untalented to be real actresses but hot enough to deserve camera time of some sort. We have put legions of smoking hot, semi-skanky women out of work. They only work they get now is the occasional Coors Light poster. What’s a Hawaiian Tropic girl to do? It’s not right.

I have two criteria for any music video to be successful. I think you know what they are. That’s right, baby: HOT CHICKS AND HOT LICKS. Which is why it’s odd that my favorite video of all time features neither, and comes from a group that, under usual circumstances, I can’t fucking stand.

Now that’s high art. You can’t go wrong with Nathan Wind as Cochese.

Anyway, your turn. We’re making MTV an all-video channel again and you’re picking the videos that deserve to be in the rotation. THE RULES: Pick one video at a time. Once you pick, YOU MUST WAIT UNTIL TEN MORE VIDEOS HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO SELECT AGAIN. And try and provide a link to your favorites if you can, so we can all share in the goodness.

Also, once one video from any artist has been selected, that artist is off the board. That makes your choices a little dicier. Which video from Video Vanguard award winner Tom Petty will you choose? Will it be “Mary Jane’s Last Dance,” or will it be nothing? I bet I can guess.