“Revenge of the Dawgs” is a sci-fi revenge flick set in an alternate reality where the world is a hellish dystopia. Wait a sec… upon closer inspection that’s turn-of-the-millennium Cleveland. Honest mistake. Actually, for something found on YouTube, this video isn’t half bad– sort of “Any Given Sunday” meets “Death Wish” meets “Omega Man”.

It’s fun to see the Fauxdell get his comeuppance. My only cavil: would it have been too much trouble to have the Dogfather say: “Right about now you are about to be possessed by the sounds of Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock”?

Fast-forward ten years– Cleveland has their Browns back, so you would think all would be right their fans. You would be wrong…
Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone seems to be pulling for the scrappy, defensively deprived Cleveland Browns to overtake the Steelers for the AFC North crown. Well, their vaunted offense is laying a Horse Ball sized egg in Cincinnati.

I bet Browns fans are pissed. Not as much as those who bet on the over in this game. Thought you were so smart, didn’t you?

Only he’s blanketed by three Cardinals. Why not go ahead and throw it anyway? Maybe there’ll be a glitch like in Madden and the ball will go through one of the opposing players and materialize in Miller’s hands. Who knows? Life’s an adventure.

Oh, shit. One of the Cardinals did catch it. Well, just remember to show Tomlin your “Did I do bad?” face. He can’t get too mad. He is the one who refuses to use Najeh Davenport in short yardage situations. First and goal from the four? Let’s run it with Willie Parker twice up the gut. He’s sure to move the pile.

Speaking of Willie Parker: would you like to fumble a few more handoffs? Tiki Barber just called. No, no, allow me. I’ll hold the phone up to your ear so you can listen to him bitch about you stealing his schtick. It’s a nice phone. I’d hate for you to drop it, shithead.