Films that the Patriots could use to predict the migratory cycles of birds and use them in their adjustments!

I just obtained a film of me taping the TV report about Lofa Tatupu getting busted for a DUI. I did it on behalf of the Patriots, so they can know what to expect from drunk linebackers in hoopdies in the future. Just because Belichick doesn’t get the videos from me personally doesn’t mean they don’t make it to him through the pipeline. They’re very intricate cheaters.

I’m taping you! Right now! What if I were to tell you this is for the Patriots, so they’ll know how you’ll react when you’re being told you’re being filmed to benefit the Patriots. It’s a limited but useful application, commissioner.

Just let me stay relevant a little longer. I can film myself groveling.