Posts Tagged ‘STEELERS STEELERS STEELERS STEELERS STEELERS STEELERS’

Eleven Angry Men… And One Super Excited Big Boy

Friday, May 15th, 2009

elijury2

  • Elisha Manning was all set to get empaneled onto a jury, but his questionnaire revealed a deep-seated bias against people who have stolen antiques. And older brothers. Also, the article reports it was unknown which case Eli was asked to sit in on, though we all know he only showed up to demand that his Plax be set free and allowed to return to his team.
  • The NFL has agreed to allow Chad Ocho Cinco to wear his new last name on his jersey this upcoming season, but only if it gets conflated to “Ochocinco”. When asked about the ruling, Chad responded, “I don’t want space in my name. Someone could put a chair there.”
  • Warren Sapp has pinned Tony Romo’s late season failings on trips to the golf course. See, this would have been more convincing had he said Romo wants to lose early just so he can get back to the course earlier than usual, rather than it being a distraction during the season. Also if Sapp had any sort of reputation for being a workout warrior himself during his career, that might’ve bolstered his argument ever so slightly.
  • The Steelers will visit the White House next Thursday, where Santonio Holmes will personally thank President Obama for ending the War on Drugs and Ben Roethlisberger will wrestle Joe Biden on the South Lawn for a package of Now and Laters.

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    Hello, I’m Dr. Bummer. I’m Doing My Rounds, And, Uh, I’m A Little Behind.

    Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

    I’m admittedly a frequent viewer of The Price is Right (though I’ve never masturbated to the show like BDD), as it’s a nicely enjoyable but unremarkable late morning program to have on in the background while whipping up dick jokes on the Internet. Ever since Drew Carey took over hosting duties, however, there has been a profusion of Browns jerseys adorning audience members. Obviously, this is not surprising considering Carey’s connection to the city. But have any of those Brownies fans worn a tapped on Dr. Bummer plate on the back of their jersey, then placed a $69 bid to advance to one of the pricing games? I think not. The obnoxious game show antics advantage has swung decisively in favor of the yinzers.

    drbummer

    [PSAMP]

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    Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

    Dan Rooney Named Ambassador to Ireland. Is it because he campaigned hard for Obama or because he signed Sean McHugh? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW!

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    Hines Ward rolling out his own line of memorabilia?

    Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

    Steelers shirts of questionable licensing have been spotted in China. If anyone hears of any “Almondzona 54rdmylz” gear floating around Asia, please give Will Leitch a shout.

    [ Mondesi's House ]

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    Always Be Covering: This is how we do it in the ‘nati

    Friday, December 12th, 2008

    Arming the Ben-Gals with assault weapons is probably the smartest thing the Bengals have ever done.

    Welcome to the Week 15 edition of Always Be Covering where we’re pleased to offer you cheerleaders and guns. This week I managed to remember to actually place my bets, so I’m a veritable lock to go down in a blaze of ignominy. Continue after the jump for this week’s choicest picks.

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