Oh no! This grizzled Bills backer has gone off and abducted some unsuspecting Chargers cheerleaders and plans to exploit them for his own twisted ends. Or maybe its their twisted ends. However it works in his dungeon, San Diego and Buffalo highlight the early games, along with the epic Frerotte-Orton face-off and the prospect of po’ widdle Womo overcoming his pinky injuwee. Meanwhile, I’ll be at the Steelers bar enjoying the season debuts of Limas Sweed and the $7 million white elephant that is Max Starks. Huzzah.

It’s not only Drew who’s suffering the ill effects of people being way too fucking into Halloween. My neighbor down the hall has put up one of those talking motion sensor Halloween wreaths. You know, these sort of things are just jake if they’re on a standalone house where they’re relatively harmless, but a talking bauble is not something you put up in a hallway of an apartment complex, where people are constantly passing by your front door. What’s worse, this thing is, like, 12 feet from my front door, so I can hear it from my living room when other people pass it in the hall (curse you, paper-thin walls!).

Seriously, the home owners association bans everything under the sun and let’s this shit slide. You people are beyond useless. I want to set this thing on fire. Then shiv its owner and play with his blood.

Enjoy the games!