People who read me back in my With Leather days know that I, unlike any other man on the planet, have a thing for Scarlett Johansson. Well maybe not unlike any man, but certainly more than that pouf Ryan Reynolds. However, because it’s the Internet, every time I profess my love for her, I always have to deal with some troll saying that she’s fat or that she has a stupid tattoo or that she can’t act. To those people I say: shut up. You don’t need to act when you take pictures like this.

For those of you who prefer Sexy Friday alternative programming, well, let’s see what we can do about that…

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It’s a bit of a special weekend here at KSK, because the six of us will be gathering together for the first time in over a year and half. The reason? Our own Unsilent Majority is getting married. TO A GIRL! THAT’S GREAT HUSTLE!

What’s more, Maj will be marrying a girl that he met through this very website. It’s true. (Yes, he’s getting married during the NFL season. No, we don’t know why. I got married during the season as well and still don’t know how it happened.) eHarmony can go blow Maurice Morris, because WE were responsible for bringing Maj and his lovely bride together.

Back in 2007, we held a Keeper league contest. One of the entries came from Sarah Schorno. This was Sarah’s entry (mildly NSFW after the jump):

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There’s a big feature on Christina Hendricks in the new Harper’s Bazaar, but I’m more interested in this month’s Overanalyzing (image via HHJH). I’m not even sure if that image is a joke; I think most of those stories were lifted directly from Marie Claire.

Anyhoo, more and better Christina Hendricks below, as well as more and better women than Christina, depending on your tastes.

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Today’s unattainable person who we’ll never get to touch is model and dancer Shay Maria. You can see more eye-popping/jaw-dropping pictures at The Hundreds and her Tumblr. Giggety.

After the jump: video of Shay, plus something for the ladies and an ass-tastic bonus video.

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“You Barron twins call that a pass rush??? You two hussies need a lesson in ATTACK DISCIPLINE from MISTER DERRICK BROOKS!!!”

ESPN’s Jon Gruden is an assistant coach for Carrollwood Day School in Tampa. (Times are tight, who couldn’t use a night job to help make some extra scrill?) During a recent game, Gruden’s team was flagged for a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for his comments towards referees. After voluntarily leaving the sidelines, Gruden sat in the stands where he continued to heckle the referees with zingers like “Hey, Forrest Gump!” Fresh off the experience, Coach Gruden has agreed to help with this week’s edition of Sexy Friday.
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Before we delve into today’s especially sexy Friday, I’d like to remind everyone that HOLY CRAP SIX DAYS UNTIL THE NFL STARTS. Yes, because the season kicks off next Thursday night, we’ll finally kick it into regular-season gear next week, starting with a special post on Monday, so be sure to stop by even though it’s Labor Day weekend.

Okay, moving on. This Friday’s sexiness has no particular theme other than they’re pictures that I saved as favorites in my journey through the corner of the Internet known as Tumblr. These pictures are from suicideblonde, bohemea, GIFanime, and bestbumsintheworld, all of which are at times NSFW, and all of which I recommend. Oh, and there’s even a couple pictures for women and gay men, for once. Click the pics to enjoy them at full size. Enjoy.

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The Cami Secret, sadly is a real product. Why people aren’t out in the streets picketing their headquarters is beyond me. The only consolation I can take is that the person who would buy a boob veil like this, probably wouldn’t own too many low-cut tops to begin with.

Longtime KSK readers might recognize the voice of the frustrated narrator as that of Paul “Fitzy” Fitzgerald, a/k/a comedian/actor Nick Stevens, a/k/a the only Patriots fan who I don’t want to slash in the face with a broken-off bottle of Boone’s Farm. But yeah, screw the Cami Secret and the horse it rode in on.

Have a good weekend. Just for the hell of it, here’s Olivia Munn (DOB 7/3/1980) dancing with a trout.

Meet Alana Blanchard, a native Hawaiian and pro surfer. Believe it or not, I’m a lifelong fan of this whole women’s surfing dealie. Along those lines, Miss Blanchard is presented today strictly on the merits of her athletic prowess. Her pulchritude is a mere happenstance.

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Today we’re featuring a refreshing melange of sexiness, including a Polish pin-up model, a Dominican video vixen, and a vintage racetrack accessory named Linda Vaughn.

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This important message comes from Rafaella Bueno, whose finest asset is on display here. And here. And here. And also here.

If you happen to prefer Japanese T to Brazilian A, then follow us after the jump for a nice little GIF.

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