After a three-week hiatus, your very fearful leader has returned to his post for Sexy Fridaying. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed over that span, it’s that Burnsy is very good about picking a theme and sticking to it, whereas I just haphazardly spray sexiness in all directions. Clearly this is a sublimation of our respective love-making styles. You’re welcome for the visual, btw.

Moving along, another week of dreadful offseason inactivity has been slogged through. Next weekend is Memorial Day weekend, which is the unofficial start of summer for just about everybody. Drew is already dreading it, but since I don’t have three dozen children to attend to, I can be content welcoming the swelter and the skimpy outfits that go along with it. Anyway, enough talk of seasons and children, there’s sexy to be had.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s 4/20, which means it’s the birthday of Hitler and Fenway Park (COINCIDENCE? Yeah, probably) but also an occasion to either smoke a lot of weed or make a bunch of weed jokes. Quite possibly both. You could also bring your Care Bear filled with five pounds of bud to the annual rally in Boulder, but then you’ll have to contend with irate party school administrators. And that’s no fun.

In weed-related NFL doings, it came out this week that Mike Adams tested positive for marijuana at the combine, eliciting the usual round of scorn against thuggy, druggy GLORY BOYZ, which is basically almost all players. The Lions, to their credit, have said they won’t let players’ use of weed affect their drafting strategy. Janoris Jenkins, come get your new sideline Lions hat.

Anyway, go get faded and we’ll see you back next week, where’s there’s an actual thing called the draft happening. Live blogification returns. The draft is almost like the midpoint of the interminable off-season, but that’s true only if you discount the preseason, which you shouldn’t, because the preseason blows. Ah well, enjoy the weekend.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Friday the 13th, so be sure not to fap under any ladders. Be careful out there.

As always, we appreciate your help getting through another week of the endless off-season. I’m pretty sure writing a standalone post about Steve Smith wearing a Gremlins shirt will be the low point of my month, at least until I hear what Peter King has to say after watching Bully. Take heart that the draft is less than two weeks away, bringing with it a brief flurry of activity following by several more months of dragging ass.

Speaking of ass (SEGUE CLASSES PAYING OFF), here’s some Friday sexiness:

Read the rest of this entry »

Passover begins this evening. Easter is Sunday. Lots of holiness going on this weekend. All this religion combined with seeing the above image got me thinking about the biblical figure of Onan, whose name has pretty much become synonymous with fapping even though he wasn’t much a practitioner of the masturbatory arts.

Onan was just some dude who was asked to knock up his dead brother’s wife and pulled out. That’s not fapping, that’s f*cking! Hardly anything remotely close to our contemporary notion of masturbation. Not sure whether this makes me sad for Onan that he has a misunderstood legacy or super jelly that he gets an eternity of lonely dude gratitude for a linguistic error.

Were there only a biblical figure named Fap who would randomly be in the background of significant events beating himself off with a huge smile on his face. Then things would make a little more sense. Anyway, on to fapping.

Read the rest of this entry »

National Cleavage Day is a creation of Wonderbra working in concert with the Illuminati, which makes it just about as bogus and manufactured as every other holiday we take seriously. Officially, this year it falls on March 31, though everyone seems intent on celebrating it today. Fine by me. Wikipedia says it’s an “annual celebration held in either March or April”. From that, we can glean that everyday for the next month is National Cleavage Day. Hooray!

Per usual, some borderline NSFWishness after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

People are quick to call this the best NFL off-season of all-time. Is it? MAYBE. I typically while away my days without football being drunker than usual, so perhaps I’m not the most lucid person to serve as judge that kind of thing. But it sounds accurate, which is good enough. If this indeed ends up being the best off-season, this may have been the best week of the best off-season, which still isn’t that great so far as weeks go, but it’s appreciated at any rate.

- Peyton picks Denver, deposing Tebow and humiliating Clay Travis
- Gregg Williams got Ginger Hammered out of the league; Saints probably boned for at least a year
- Dolphins lose out on everyone but David Garrard, sparking sad, sad protest
- Denver trades Tebow to Jets until Jets remember they need to read the fine print
- Tebow forced to pick between unholy Jets and hometown Jags, who actually offered better deal, Runslinger gives into TIMTATION!
- Marion Barber retired, meaning there’s at least one less player openly willing to give Tebow wins

Just add sexiness to make it complete. Though preferably without the sexting going on between Sean Payton and Jeremy Shockey.

(Some borderline NSFWish content after the jump)

Read the rest of this entry »

With the last two Fridays featuring late-breaking headliners like the Saints bountygate and the Rams-’Skins blockbuster trade, I know I’m playing with fire by posting Sexy Friday in the mid-afternoon, as I fully expect the NFL to squeeze out a 5 p.m. news dump about the Ginger Banhammer unleashing unholy bounty punishment. Either that or six more teams will reveal they’ve had furtive Pey-Pey workouts. Work him out all you want, you’re gonna have to be Dan Snyder reckless to top the offer the Broncos already reportedly have on the table.

There will be time enough for that later. In the meantime, I’ve got tourney to watch, booze to drink and sexy to ogle. I suspect your priorities are similar. So let’s get to it. And if actual news does go down, well, I’ll pull myself together somehow.

/passes out

Read the rest of this entry »

It was an eventful week of tearful goodbyes and bounty hysteria. The Colts bid farewell to Pey-Pey. Then they put Dwight Freeney on the trading block, and there might be one or two Indy fans who can ignore their Peyton grief long enough to be upset about that. As for the rest us, we’re just glad to have pushed through the most miserable part of the sports calendar with our sanity mostly intact.

Next week, March Madness gets underway and brings with it its blessed invitation for excusable daytime drinking. On the television front, “South Park” and “Community” return. As does “Bob’s Burgers”, which I watch, but won’t pretend elicits the same joy for me as those other two shows.

The aforementioned “Community” return next week, with “Mad Men” returning following soon after, gives us a largely unnecessary but still appreciated excuse to run this recent video of Alison Brie getting sultry for Elle Canada. Hey, Alison, the Canucks don’t need any favors. Let’s keep the sexiness in-house, please.

Further sexiness, post-jump:

Read the rest of this entry »

A highly KSK-relevant GIF plucked from the commenter Chet Manly in the “Archer” Uproxx live blog from last night. You know what else is highly relevant to Sexy Friday? Smush bait! YEAH BUDDY! Crushed it!

/bro taps Rob Gronkowski

And so marks close of business on another week in KSK. Please forgive us for not touching on Tiki Barber’s efforts to move forward with his marriage to the intern he left his wife and two kids for. The Saints getting in trouble for putting bounties on players (SO LONG, PK-APPROVED FEEL-GOODOLOGY!) arrived a little late in the day shake us from our early Friday boozing. And sorry we neglected to goof on Bill Belichick playing golf with Kenny G. We hope the sexiness compensates for our oversight.
Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t be embarrassed just because you got caught rockin’ out to a cheesy song…