Lookie who’s been counseling with LaToeInjury for motivational tactics. Seems like it works about as well for Nacho. Mark Sanchez is back to his execrable performance of his rookie season and it couldn’t come at a more opportune time. After the JEST cakewalked into the playoffs last season, wouldn’t it be wondrous for them to start 9-3. only to drop four straight and miss the postseason. I think it would be positively loverly.

But at least Ryan’s crew has proved adept at dropping touchdown passes and cheaply tripping opposing players on the sideline. Always a vital skill.

videos via 30fps and BSO

We got an e-mail yesterday from a guy who claims to work at the writers’ office for the show “30 Rock.” He told us the the writers love the site and occasionally put up KSK posts in the writers’ room. While this is as likely to be true as the times we got e-mails from people relaying first-person accounts of Rex Ryan reading and enjoying Drew’s posts and the fact that Philip Rivers has read the site and hates us, we choose to believe it’s the God’s honest truth. So, to the folks from NBC currently reading: GIVE ME A JOB GIVE ME A JOB RIGHT NOW We appreciate the support.

Anyway, the guy passed along a comedy video that he directed about Chiefs defensive lineman Shaun Smith, he of the Brady Quinn punching and the Anthony Davis in-game groin grab.

This clip of a guy who sounds like Ray Lewis with a lisp narrating his Greg Jennings touchdown on Madden has been making the blog rounds for about a week, but it’s high time we gave it some attention as well. A shame he couldn’t have been in the booth last Sunday when Jennings scored on an 83-touchdown pass against the Dolphins. That would have been a treat. I PUT THE TEAM ON MAH FUCKIN BACK DOH! OH SHIT DARREN SHAWPWAW! That should become one of Ufford’s memes, by the way.

Speaking of Ufford, he passes along a couple Photoshops that reader Aaron sent him based on the post celebrating all of Cutler’s sacks against the Giants.

A 60-year-old man robbed a Manhattan Beach bank on Monday while wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey. He made off with an undisclosed amount of pesos.

I ran into The Conquistador at the Madden Bowl party tonight in Miami. Guy has so much poise he didn’t even know what to say when I asked him about his poise. The full interview tomorrow will be up at The Sporting Blog.

Beef Moe, however, he’s never at a loss fo’ words. Fo’ sho’.

Might be hearing something about that Week 16 Curtis Painter game this week.

I guess we need a guest post from our old buddy Stefan Fatsis to explain why every single kicker in the NFL sucks this year. Especially in the playoffs. Between the performances by Shayne Graham, Neil Rackers, Shaun Suisham and San Diego’s Scott Norwood, there hasn’t been a single halfway clutch kick in this postseason.

So smile one more time, Tony Romo. Big Nate here might have spared you from the Least award, if not yet another choke job.

Hope you have your pernicious racial stereotypes at the ready for the Irish and the Mexicans. In a game in which Cincy’s starters will see limited to very limited action, we’ll need something to keep us amused other than the prospect of Mark Sanchez’s four turnovers blowing the Jets’ giftwrapped playoff berth. Especially because a Jets victory means these two teams play again next week, only with both teams actually having something to play for. And that’s where J.T. O’Sullivan comes in. The prolix descriptions of his exploits will make for boisterous raillery!

This is obviously our last live blog of the regular season (it being the last game and all) but, as we did last year, we will have you covered for the postseason. Probably not to the extent that we can do all the games through the first two rounds, but we’ll have most of them for you. More info on that to come.

But enough programming notes. It was a much more mixed final day for the objective fan than last year’s finale that saw Favre, the Cowboys and the Pats eliminated all on the same day. On one hand, the Steelers were denied the postseason berth they didn’t deserve. Zulu Cop Speed also eclipsed 2,000-yard mark. However, the Eagles bed shitting, while nicely upsetting Philly turds, lets Brett Favre off the hook for choking away a two seed. Too much gray area for my tastes.

AND WHO COULD FAHGET THE DEVASTATION OF WELKAH! OW-AH HAAAHHHHTTTSSS RIPPED ALONG WITH HIS MANY GRITTY TENDONS! YOU CAN NEVAH UNDERSTAND PAIN LIKE WE HAVE! THIS WILL RUIN THE TRIP WE HAVE TO VEGAS! WE MIGHT NAWT EVEN BE ABLE TO STAY UP LATE! EVERYONE KNOWS BENAHD POLLAHD IS A CRIMINAL AND SHOULD BE MADE TO SUFFAH! THAT DAAAHKIE IS REPONSIBLE WHETHER HE HIT WELKAH OR NAWT! JAWRIES OUTSIDE NEW ENGLAND WOULD NAWT CONVICT HIM BECAWSE THEY AHHH JEALOUS OF OW-AH SUCCESS!

Even Suzy can’t believe Braylon caught balls tonight.

Last year with the Ravens, Rex Ryan’s defense made dolphin-filled tuna out of the Wildcat formation. Surely there was no way that Miami could win unless they did it like the Saints did last week – get more points off Sanchise turnovers than from their own offense. This time, though, the Dolphins donned their unbeatable orange duds and laid 31 points on the Pussytubers, while Chad Henne (CHAD HENNE!) registered a QB rating of 130.

“I have watched as you have grown complacent in your opulence, gringo grosso. As you have sat, dined and slobbered on your many chins, I have been at work, perfecting the deadly arts of…”

And while there was a highly entertaining affair on the field, the real contest of the night pitted the spastic Dolphins male cheerleader’s antics against the wild pom-pommed gyrations of Straw Hatted Jets Snow Blob. C’mon guys, WHO YA GOT?

Some more Miami crowd retardery after the jump.

I’m not much of a gambling man, but I’d be willing to lay down a couple grand minimum that this douche used the South Park fishsticks joke to try to get laid at least a dozen times after the game.

“Here’s the deal, Barn’ – you keep Wilma and Betty occupied while I jump in this Jetsons crossover time machine to the future so I can watch Hispanic Heritage being honored during a football game. Can you imagine, Barn’? We don’t even let Hispanics do manual labor in the Stone Age. We leave that to common beasts. These future people is just plain nutty.”

Remember that big offseason fight that Rex Ryan had with Channing Crowder? Of course you don’t, because everyone stopped paying attention to the Dolphins weeks ago. “BUT REX DIDN’T FORGET! HE’S GONNA HAVE LINEMEN DRIVING AT THEM KNEES, STOCKARD CHANNING!”

But Rex also needs to know his rookie is ready to rebound from his disastrous performance against the Saints.

I MEAN, REALLY READY!

Oh loogit, little Nacho (his actual Rex-imposed nickname is the much more unfortunate Sanchise) is Twitter-humming the Monday Night Football theme. He hasn’t been this excited since his first date rape at USC. Good thing he doesn’t tell any jokes on his feed. It always weirds me out when Spanish-speaking people write out laughter as “jejejejejejeje” online.