Who Splat!

01.08.11 Written by Christmas Ape

Not only does Marshawn GO ALL BEEF MOE to end the year-long lovefest for the ‘Aints, but he grabs up on his dick while diving into the end zone for the clinching score. NATNATNATNATNAT goes all FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP.

How long until Ufford claims he willed the team to victory by being in the stands at Qwest? I give it a few hours and a bottle of whiskey.

Geaux back into your hole, Nawlins.

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Steelers 20 Saints 7 Mike McKenzie: part of a well-balanced breakfast

08.06.07 Written by flubby
Mike “Whole Wheat” McKenzie= Toast

  • One game does not a season make, but the Saints will need better play at the corner if they are to repeat last year’s success. McKenzie couldn’t guard a fencepost, much less Cedrick Wilson last night.
  • Bryant Gumbel gave us no sign that he miraculous turned into a tolerable play-by-play man during the off-season. At one point, Gumbel earnestly told a heart-felt story about how Mike Tomlin knew he could be a head coach after Tony Dungy allowed him to give a pre-game speech. After this maudlin tale was mercifully over, Cris Collinsworth quickly corrected Gumbel, pointing out that it was Jon Gruden, not Dungy, whom allowed Tomlin to address the team. Apparently Gumbel can only process information when it is spoon-fed to him in 12 minute chunks by Mary Carillo or Bernie Goldberg.
  • Michael Irvin hasn’t been gone from ESPN long enough for us to feel nostalgic during his visit to the booth during last night’s game. Since the Playmaker is a Cowboy, we were never a fan. But the idea that he was not a first-ballot Hall of Famer is utterly ridiwockle. Once thing that was apparent from Irvin’s chat with Gumbel and Collinsworth was that he loves his kids. While we knew what he really meant, we couldn’t help but feel a little creeped out by his repeated discussion of kissing his son “in the mouth.”
  • Speaking of Mike, he came through like a champ during his induction speech. We’re not convinced he didn’t steal this from a cheesy 80s sports movie. Check it out before the YouTube police see it. Mike has no business as an analyst, but he remains one of the game’s most compelling personalities.


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