Only one of these beloved dinosaurs is getting boatloads of cash from the NFL & ESPN
Led Zeppelin’s transcontinental renaissance kicks into high gear with their reunion concert tonight in London. While over on our side of the ocean, Zeppelin has inked a promotional deal with the NFL and ESPN. Which explains why you heard “Dazed and Confused” in the background on last Monday night while the referees were ass-raping the Ravens’ defense with gusto.
When Unsilent Majority heard about Zeppelin’s deal he expressed unbridled optimism that this arrangement might lead to to the band playing at half-time of the Super Bowl. Since Maj is the wide-eyed naif of our collective, he doesn’t understand that Led Zeppelin doesn’t play half-time shows. If anything, the Super Bowl should be played at intermission of a Led Zeppelin show.
The six of us put our heads together to predict what Zep tunes our favorite NFL personalties would request. We know, you’re thinking, “great, another crappy list post.” But it was either this or I break out my theramin while Drew dons his unbuttoned half-shirt ala Robert Plant. NOW CRANK IT UP, FUCKERS!!!
Minnesota Vikings ______________________ Going to California
Trent Green _______________________ Dazed and Confused
Bill Belichick _____________________________ No Quarter
Travis Henry _______________________________ Moby Dick
Jason Campbell’s mom _________________ Black Country Woman
Sterling Sharpe /John Madden _________________ Ramble On
Devin Hester _______________________ How Many More Times
Bart Scott _________________ Nobody’s Everyone’s Fault But Mine
Andre Gurode _____________________ Trampled Under Foot
Albert Haynesworth ______ Bron-Y-Aur Stomp (Ha-Y-Nes Worth Stomp?)
Cam Cameron ________________________ The (Cleo) Lemon Song
Vinny Testeverde _______________________ Achilles Last Stand
Jeff Garcia ________________________ In Through the Out Door
New Orleans Saints _________________ When the Levee Breaks (ouch)
Tony Romo’s Mom ________________________ Living Loving Maid
Gene Upshaw _________ Black Dog (submitted by Bryant Gumbel)
Michael Irvin ________________________ Hats Off to (Alvin) Harper
Kurt Warner ___________________________ Houses of the Holy
Earl Campbell _________________________ Wearing and Tearing
Travis Johnson ___________________________ You Shook Me
Donovan McNabb ___________________________ Sick Again
Rex Ryan _____________________ Communication Breakdown
Chad Johnson ____________________________ Dancing Days
Rex Grossman/Kyle Orton__What Is And What Should Never Be (nice jinx, Punter)
Joe Gibbs ______________________ How Many More Time(out)s
Elisha Manning ____________________________ She’s Just a Woman
Sav Rocca________________________________ Immigrant Song
Patriots, Dolphins ____________________ Good Times, Bad Times
Heinz Field _______________________________ The Rain Song
Shawne Merriman _________Physical Graffiti
Andy Reid _________________________________ Custard Pie
Bill Parcells __________________________ Babe I’m Gonna Leave You
Marvin Lewis __________________________ Hey Hey What Can I Do
Jon Kitna ____________________________ Stairway to Heaven
Al Davis ___________________________ In My Time of Dying
NBC’s ‘green’ coverage producers___________________ Ozone Baby
Kevin Kolb __________________________ Your Time Is Gonna Come
Aikman appears to have a large faggot on his back. Hmmmm……
Usually, this is the part where we invite the commenters to add their own suggestions. But we have already RAWKED THEIR FACES OFF !!!!
(Makes metal fingers \m/ \m/ bangs head).