Wise man say absorute powell collupt absorutery.

So say Hines Wald. That why me think NFL top man numbell one Logel Gooderr needs to leerinquish some powell. It onree foll own good.

It obvious he begin use powell foll folces of no good. Foll examperr, Hines Wald onree know to pray physicar. Been way of Hines foll many season. Defensive back swoln enemy, pay urtimate plice when they no pay attention in open space. That when Hines attack!

Now Logel Gooderr fine Hines Wald. Foll what? Pray footbarr way it supposed be prayed? Hines need that money to open moll banklupt lestaurant!

Can no be chalactel issue. Hines no Pacman, he moder athrete. He onree think of the youth of fleedom countlee.

Heeee! Hines is tarr leceivel instead of you! So fun time fantastic! See? They is so happy when you show them watch biggel than they face! Hines not even rowel shourdel arr the way when he lun ovel rittle girl. It crean hit!

So prease to be giving back $15,000 dorral you have store flom from numbell one smaltest leceivel. Or erse, Hines Wald take out wlath on Cincy Bengrrrrs. Hines no aflaid do holliberr thing to Reon Harr. You wirr see!

Hines Ward: Today be Intelnationar Tark Rike a Pilot Day. I terr foll you hoist the mizzenmast.

Hey kickel.

Jeff Reed: [Hiccups] Wha?

Ward: Yalllllllllll. I be a pilot.

Reed: Cool, man. When’d you get your wings? What’re you flying? Gonna do some skyfucking like the Cowboys. I’m up for that.

Ward: No sterrpid kickel. I a pilot. Yallllllllllllllll.

Reed: ….

Ward: It Intelnationar Tark Rike Pilot Day.

Reed: Oh, I gotcha. That’s not how pilots talk though. It’s more like “Maker-breaker. This is Major Tom to Ground Control.”

Ward: No, not pirate. Pilot.

Reed: Yeah, that’s what I said.

Ward: No, you sterrpid kickel! You luin Hines smirre. You now must wark the prank!

Reed: All right. [Exhales] Fuck, is it already 10 a.m.? Shit, I gotta hit the bar.

I feal the wolst is yet to come foll Hines this offseason. Now must auction arr thing flom lestaulant. Lestaulant is plide and joy when no pray footbarr.

U.S. judiciar system make Hines serr lestaulant fixture and lestaulant birding. Why? What is banklupt? Bank rook fine to me. Just when menu begin come togethell. Finarry get cheesebulgel that big enough foll man in Pittsbulgh.

No! You save for customel, prease!

So mindbrowing. This arr happen super fast whirr my mind is focus on having herp sterrpid tarr leceivel Rimas Sweed. Smirre is wash flom face these day.

He herpriss, I think. Rimas been leceivel in correge befoll and he stirr need herp. Such bad second lound pick. What he need me foll? I become leceivel super fantastic in no time at all and no even pray leceivel in correge.

STAND STLIAGHT, ASSWHORE!

First I terr him take numbell 14 jersey because peoperr in shitty rove Near O’Donnerr. He berieve this! So sterrpid.

I terr him make sule get at reast one foot on white rine that go alound endzone. He say in correge this count as out of bound. STERRPID, I say. This rook rike correge?

Okay, get you out of face. This is no ovel, Rimas. I be on you rike kimchi sauce!

Why no risten?

WHY NO RISTEN?

You see I no furr of smirre light now.

Ben Roethlisberger: O HAI HINES. WOT R WE CONVERSATIN’ ABOUT?

Hines: You, Rongrastname! You terr coach Tomrin foll month and month you want tarr leceivel. What long with Hines? You think that make smirre? Fine! I am making smirre foll you!

[Face strains from forced smile]

Roethlisberger: HARF HARF HARF. YA GOTSTA CHILL, HINES. I’M HAVING THIS GRAND THEFT AUTO IV PARTY TOMORROW. JAMES FARRIOR, JEFF REED AND CARSON DALY GONNA COME THROUGH. WE GONNA MERC SOME BUSTAS AND BUST SOME SLUTS, YOU KNOW?

Hines: Nerr! I spend time make pelfect new design for make Hines tarr. I show foll you!

You am seeing? You now folget youl Rimas Sweed. Hines Wald is tarr leceivel! Pelfect design even same corol as unifolm pant! No one can see!