It’s a Monday morning in early June. Other than Drew’s impending mockery of Peter King’s prattlings, there’s not a whole lot even worthy of our warmed-over ridicule. LaToeInjury adding a macho calf tattoo to honor his newest employer? Yawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawnyawn. Some scrub on the Packers keeping the NFL offseason o’ sexual assault allegations humming? Those are all well and good, but they aren’t exactly prime KSK material.

Not like a picture of Tom Brady showing off the tardface in a charity bike event benefiting Boston-area tards. I’m sorry, that’s wrong. The preferred term is TAAAAAHHHHHHDDDDSSS.

British-driving Toonces might not be mentally disabled, but he really should be wearing a helmet while operating the Power Wheels Hummer.

An uncomfortable pat on the ass to reader Barry for the Brady picture.

Lost in the excitement of Flozell Adams losing his job so he can go kick at people’s knees in the unemployment line is the unbelievably amusing news that Browns defensive tackle Shaun Rogers tried to bring a loaded semiautomatic onto a plane. In his defense, at least he placed it in the little baggie with his shampoo. How will this position him of the AFC North plot graph of recent retardery that you probably already looked at before reading this text? Well, since you already know, I’ll cease with the cutesy banter.

I love those days where something awesome falls out of the sky and into our inbox. And today we have one such treat: it’s Brett Favre’s hillbilly cousin, and his Twitter feed. And you thought Twitter was retarded. Well folks, in the right hands, it can be AWESOMELY RETARDED. An anonymous friend from Heavy.com’s The Burly Show explains:

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I don’t know what you’re doing right now, but I highly recommend you click here this instant, with all due haste. Readers at Fark decided to have a Photoshop contest using this photo of Tom Brady. The result? I’m fucking dying. Some highlights:

Photoshop credit to Fark artistes squrrelco3, Earguy, voopa, Man On a Mission, and i-dig