We abandoned the the Friday Five based on your overwhelming desire to see scantily clad women you could easily find on a Google image search, but because we are loath to abandon established ideas, here are five things we enjoyed about the Sunday that was. There would be more, but the NFL slunk away from an easy victory in the ratings over Game 4 over the World Series because, who knows? We’re too busy trying to figure out if Miles “Baraka” Austin is actually a white guy.

1. Gus Johnson saying Chris Johnson ran “like he was being chased by the cops” after his 52-yard TD scamper against the Jags in the 3rd quarter.

2. Ravens fans carping about the refs even when they’re winning. Not that complaining about the officiating isn’t a constant state of being for Ravens fans.

3. Brittfar’s coquettish wink at the Brittfar Cam because Brittfar must be accepting of all the Brittfar love that the media must lavish reflexively on Brittfar

4. Joe Flacco’s triple salchow into a sack. The Steelers judge gives it a 2.0.

5. St. Louis trickeration to defeat the Detroit Lions in order to avoid becoming the next Detroit Lions.

Because those of us who root for teams that don’t sign Favre in a desperate and misguided attempt at getting a title never have our feelings conflicted. We can still delight in all his failings, especially when they finally surface against our (my) favorite team

MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

/gets Mastodon and Queens of the Stone Age to disband only to ruin Drew’s day further

//includes consolation photo of Vikings jersey customized with the Peterson nickname Drew coined

Airbrushed motorcycles with Scarface and Steelers themes. Only available on display outside Jerome Bettis’ bar and in every exurban shopping mall food court in the country.

And of all the lazy name plate replacements I’ve seen on mid-’90s pre-Steelers-uniform-design Kordell Stewart jerseys, this one is at least among the top 10 most generic.

The J-E-T-S fans in attendance at Radio City Music Hall were mostly buoyant about the team’s selection of Mark Sanchez, though there were some long-haired misty-eyed dissenters in the mix, as the video illustrates.

If Jets fans are known for their defeatism, or maybe outright belligerence, let’s look at these Lions fans, who show exuberance in the face of a horrible pick signed to an even more ghastly contract. That’s what I call getting behind a loser, Jets fans.

I find the card game with family shot far more endearing than the Darrius Heyward-Bey extended family-wide huddle in front of the TV. As a touted draftee, you know you’re getting paid no matter what. You can make up the difference in signing bonuses with a few decent hands against the old man. No reason to sweat it.

Meanwhile, this may skew a little too far toward nonchalance. That or Donald Brown is the only black man in Connecticut.

Lastly, let’s give some love to Drew Magary, who was selected with the 28th pick of the draft by the Buffalo Bills. Good luck up there, buddy. Don’t let T.O. push you around.

And the Matron Saint seems to have taken over for Erin Pageviews (and as soon as I write that she’s spouting some filth-flarn-filth with “Dr.” Bill Cosby) for second day coverage, which bespeaks how the tenor of the second day coverage is a lot more bearble than Saturday’s. So long as you ignore the gushing about the Pats stockpiling 2nd round picks. OW-AH DRAFT STRATEGIES AH MO-AH CALCULATED THAN YO-AH DRAFT STRATEGIES!

That was about as bad a Monday night game decided by three points as you can get (at least since the one last week). If blocked field goals, turnovers and punt returns are your thing, then it was the game of the year. For the rest of us, swing passes are Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist gay. And between Martin Gramatica and Ed Hochuli, it’s hard to find a singular goat for this game. (more…)