He told Benedict that he and Gayle were from New Orleans. Benedict responded warmly. He was pleased, attentive; his English was good.

Benson was wearing his championship ring from the Saints 2009 Super Bowl season, the big one with the diamonds and the fleur de lis — the one that, in its way, symbolized the resurrection of New Orleans.

“I said to him I’d like to show you my ring,” Benson recalled Wednesday.

A Vatican picture captures the moment, with the leader of 2 billion Catholics bending slightly to examine the proffered Super Bowl ring. A couple of cardinals are close by.
“I told him what it was, you know? It’s a Super Bowl ring. And he understood that, right, darling?” Benson said to Gayle in an interview at Saints training camp.

I have to say, that takes balls. Creole crawfish balls.

[NOLA via Cajun Boy]

This past Friday, the news came out that John Harbaugh doesn’t expect Sergio Kindle to play this season because of the injuries sustained when the second-round pick fell down a flight of stairs during training camp. Instead of the understandable sympathy another might show to a serious injury sustained because of a medical issue like narcolepsy, our line of thinking instantly retreated to DURR HURR HIS LAST NAME IS THE SAME AS THAT FANCY READING DO-HICKEY!

So we got to thinking: how can we incorporate trendy devices into the names of prominent NFL players? Why? Because it was Friday and we were bored and possibly on drugs. Fortunately, we were so moved by the force of our collective wit that we decided to share the fruits of our pointless time-wasting endeavor.

We occasionally bent the rules a few times, instead straying into faddish online sites and sometimes using devices that haven’t been considered current in nearly a decade. Got a problem? Do us one better in the comments, then.

Mathias Wiiwanuka

TomTom Brady

Bernard Blackberrian

Blu-Rey Malaluga

Jeremy Mac-lin

SIRIUS Norwood

Antonio Gateway

Antwaan Randle LCD

Yeremiah Dell

iOmegatron

Limas Tweet

Droidell Williams

Sony Stylez G. White

Derrick iPod Dockery

SanCasio Holmes

Samsung Hurd

Aaron RSS

Alge Tumblr

Maurice Jones-USB Flash Drive

Okay, we’re stretching on that last one. Want more? Might I suggest you go to Jahvid Best Buy for inspiration.

Don’t mind this unrelated whoring for my Designed Rush column at SB Nation.

Jim Mora, Jr.: Looks like we’re approaching the summit.

Roger Goodell: This has been a truly incredible experience. I really want to thank you for getting me to do this. I’m pushing myself to my physical limits in ways I’ve never called on myself to do at any point in my overwhelmingly privileged life. I thought meting out punishment to NFL players was something but this is a visceral thrill that cannot be matched. Unless you count indefinitely suspending players for vaguely unseemly off-field activities. That’s still tops in my book.

Jim Mora: Hey, it’s my pleasure.

Voice: Oh my god, it’s people!

Jim Mora, Jr.: Who goes there?

Voice: Wow, you’re the first guys I’ve seen in a while.

Jim Mora Jr.: Hey, that’s Dave Brown. Used to quarterback for Giants for a few years in the ’90s.

Roger Goodell: What in the world are you doing up here? And in full pads?

Dave Brown: Chris Calloway told me back in 1995 that if you lived at the top of a mountain, you never get old, or at least you would get old very, very slowly. Something about the elevation. So that’s what I’ve been doing for a while.

Jim Mora: So where is he then?

Dave Brown: He also told me black people don’t climb mountains. That’s why they die younger. His words.

Goodell: Hate to break it to you, but that’s not true in the slightest.

Dave Brown: Which part?

Goodell: Either. But especially the part about not getting older.

Mora: Yeah. It looks like you’ve aged horribly.

Dave Brown: C’mon man, that’s not cool. I’m as young and full of vitality as I ever was.

Goodell: Do you need some help getting down the mountain? We’ve got extra supplies. It looks like you’ve been a bit misinformed.

Dave Brown: Oh, I’m informed all right, Commissioner Goodell. I got info like you wouldn’t believe. Here’s one little nugget for you: I do know that your failure to help the ownership strike a deal with the player’s union will end in a lockout that could jeopardize the 2011 season, a singular disaster that will set into motion a series of cataclysmic events that results in the fall of man in 2012, just as the Mayans and Roland Emmerich have foretold. Also, I know you jerked it real quick one time in Jeffrey Lurie’s luxury box in Philly. And didn’t even wipe up.

Goodell: What? Wait. How do you know about that?

Dave Brown: [vanishes]

Goodell: Can we go home now?

Mora: Before you get mad, I just gotta say I wouldn’t have brought you up here if I knew Mount Rainier was haunted by the ghosts of crappy QBs who aren’t actually dead yet.

Goodell: I wish I could believe that.

Mora: And I won’t tell Paul Allen. Promise.