Dating a sexy Nazi?  Tell us all about it. Now’s the time to get in your questions for the weekly mailbag.  Remember: one fantasy sex question; one fantasy football question.  We favor brevity, honesty, and people who aren’t Bears fans.

Check out the sidebar for our email address.  No, you have to scroll down a little more.   More.  Little more.  There.  Under “contact and annoy us.”

An Odd Bit Of News: Okay, so recently NBC asked me to do some blogging for them, and I said okay. Then they said, “You’ll be writing exclusively about the Cowboys.” And I said, “But I hate the Cowboys. They are Satan’s fecal afterbirth.” Then they said, “Well, here’s some money, monkey boy.” And then I said, “Oh, well in that case, AFTERBIRTH AHOY!” So that’s the story of how I ended up over over here. If you hate the Cowboys, fear not. I’ll still be doing the KSK and Deadspin stuff. Consider this my Emperor’s Club gig.

[ photo: via ]

Things we should have addressed yesterday or possibly the day before. Firstly, this profile on Ricky Williams and his study of holistic medicine in the New York Times was fascinating.  As much as we enjoy a good “Ricky Williams smokes pot” joke, it’s cool to see an NFL star embrace a sense of individuality that runs counter to the stereotype.

Also, former Raiders center Barret Robbins finally explained why he missed playing in the Super Bowl: he was partying in Tijuana.  What a terrible waste.  That was the year there was a donkey show at halftime!

THIS WEEK IN READING PUNTE (TWIRP): I was fortunate enough to be tapped by Emil Steiner to contribute to The League, the NFL blog for a certain DC-area newspaper’s online presence. My first contribution to the blog can be read here; the piece is topped off with a headshot that’s been described as “rapey.”

Also this morning, I’ll be the guest du jour on On The DL. Dan Levy, Nick Tarnowski and run the gamut (gambit?) of nerdiness, seriousness, and the art of podcasting. It should be, as we say in the business, tits.

Do enjoy. And get your mailbag questions in before lunch. We won’t give away who’s doing the ’sack this week, but expect generous portions of donkey penetration and Judith Light pining. Should be fun. For me, anyway.

It’s already better than T.O.’s reality show. FX is developing a comedy about guys in a fantasy football league called “The League.”  Key quote from the pilot: “God bless fantasy football. There are many things a man can do with his time. This is better than those things.”  We like it already.

So wait, why is there a picture of Jesus playing football here?  Who’s askin’?  You got a problem with our Lord and Savior playing football?  I didn’t think so.

Somebody put Joe Flacco on suicide watch. Derrick Mason has told Jocklife.com that he intends to retire from the NFL, much to the surprise of his current employers, the Baltimore Ravens. This means Flacco will have to start staring down another receiver on every passing play, like Mark Clayton for example. Or hell, maybe Todd Heap will start catching passes again. But yeah, that’s probably not going to happen. Adjust your fantasy ranking accordingly, at least until Mason un-retires by signing a new contract extension. [Jocklife]

Tom Brady on the set of “Entourage.”  Ugh.

Ya know, last year, Brady was my #1 pick in fantasy football.  I was pretty distraught when Bernard Pollard ended his season in Week 1.

Now?  Not so much.

About that FKS teaser from a while back… Here’s a post today at Deadspin that explains it all in better detail. Also, there’s a Penthouse column I wrote a while back that I forgot to link to, so here it is. (URL NSFW) Enjoy.

LAST MINUTE MAILBAG REMINDER Remember to send in your submissions for the Fantasy Football and Sex Advice Mailbag before it’s too late. The sexy mail lady will not stand for your tardiness.