LAST MINUTE MAILBAG REMINDER Remember to send in your submissions for the Fantasy Football and Sex Advice Mailbag before it’s too late. The sexy mail lady will not stand for your tardiness.

Jim Brown Will Defenestrate Me Via Phone. Our Deadcast guest for Thursday is Jim Brown. Got a question for Mr. Brown you want asked over the air? Stick it in the comments. We’ll see if I have anywhere close to the balls to ask any of them. Brown is scheduled to appear in an interview on Real Sports tonight where he calls Tiger Woods a mamajama. The last time I heard that word, Triple H was using it to describe Chyna to the crowd. In a good way! And so there you have it. Tiger Woods and Chyna: two mamajamas.

Balls Deep In Badassedness. For your afternoon reading pleasure, here’s this month’s Penthouse column (link does NOT contain nudity), written for their third annual “American Badass” issue. If that idea was inspired by either Kid Rock or The Undertaker during his unfortunate “biker dude” gimmick, I’ll be disappointed. Also, this is as good a time as any to remind you that it’s MAILBAG TIME. Ah yes, the KSK mailbag. ZOMG! Your girlfriend’s gained a bit of weight? HOW DO YOU STOP THE FLABBY TIDE? Email such queries here. Now make with the impotence!

Brandon Marshall Successfully Cuts Ties With Terribly Unsupportive Team That Covered Up His Wife Beating. It’s “Get Away With Murder Day” at KSK today. See if you can follow this logic. Talented Broncos wideout Brandon Marshall is accused of beating his ex-girlfriend multiple times, and for coming at her with a brick. In turn, the Broncos ask the victim, more or less, to keep quiet on the matter. Outside The Lines airs the whole sordid affair, including a reported fight between Marshall and his NEW fiancee. Marshall responds to this whole thing by demanding the Broncos trade him. Because they were so disloyal, you see. A real class NFL team would have taped his fists before he started wailing on his lady. That’s how the Bengals would have done it. Anyway, the Broncos actually AGREED to trade him today (They haven’t traded him yet, but Pat Bowlen enjoys bargaining without leverage. He’s a real wild man like that.). Apparently, you can force a trade in Denver simply by asking Bowlen, “pretty please with sugar on top.” Congrats, Broncos fans. Your team has again vastly downgraded its skill positions in order to acquire first round picks it will then trade for fourth round picks. Drink up.

Donte Stallworth was sentenced to 30 days in jail after pleading guilty today to DUI-Manslaughter charges in Miami. Back in March, he got plastered (2x the legal limit) and killed a man named Mario Reyes. Tonight Stallworth and Leonard Little will go out and celebrate in style.

Remind me again, why the fcuk did Mike Vick have go to prison?

UPDATE: Looks like there’s two years of house arrest tacked on to that 30 days. OH NOES! He’ll have to rough it for 700 or so days playing Xbox Live (which is down today - jerks) while feasting on expensive sumptuous cuisine and generally not being in federal PMITA prison.

Surely, you have a thing or two to say to this man. Wednesday’s Deadcast guest is Dan Le Batard. I have a lot of things I want to discuss with Racey McRacecard, but there’s no way I’m talking to him without including a few questions/comments from you KSK Elite Flyers. So if you’ve got something to say to Dan “The Batard”, post it in the comments or email me here. I’ll try and get in as many good ones as I can.

Brand new wearable catchphrases. After a long renovation (okay, we forgot the password) the KSK Shop is ready to re-open its doors. We’re celebrating the occasion with some great new shirts like the one pictured on the left. Click here to visit the shop where you can finally get your hands on some new shirts. True shirts. Lofty shirts. [KSK Shop]

Update: More added after the jump.

(more…)

Please be patient. Sexy Friday is on the way. Hey everybody.  I’ve got Sexy Friday duties this week, but I’m backed up with work at Uproxx brothers Warming Glow and With Leather.  In the meantime, please accept this post on the bikini-riffic trash TV show “Battle of the Bods” as a placeholder.

THE HORROR. It’s true, Matt Millen and Vinny “Sarge” Cerrato are basically the same person. So I guess all it will take is an 0-16 season to get him fired. It might actually be worth it. [Hogs Haven]