In retrospect, it’s really sad we didn’t have a liveblog of last night’s game. Yes, it was one of those grinding low scoring affairs that people who fetishize offense always complain about. But then there were also FIVE CUTLERF*CKER SULKERCEPTIONS! TWO IN THE ENDZONE! A VERITABLE BONANZA OF KKAKE-INFUSED SCHADENFREUDE! And it’s doubly disappointing because we are absolutely committed to not touching the abortion that is the Ravens and the Browns on Monday night (sorry, but we do it out of compassion for our regulars, so they need not feel compelled to tune in) so it looks like we’re on for Carolina and Miami next Thursday. Wait, that’s no good either. I’m not dealing with a third live blog with 50,000 Wildcat jokes in 10 weeks. Screw it, we’ll just do BradyManningfest on Sunday night. Book it.

EVEN MORE OVERLONG COLUMNS ABOUT FOOTBALL! Today saw the debut of “The Designed Rush“, my weekly NFL column at The Sporting Blog, which will run each Tuesday. And while I get to beat Drew to “press” each week (only because Mrs. Drew takes until Wednesday to get around to cleaning the caked-on bacon paste off her husband’s typing wand) he gets to do things like Nazi Shark at Deadspin (who, by the way, just adored this video). Me? At the more stodgy TSB, I can only get away with the Khmer Rouge Raptors* (Asian and a raptor! Double the evil genius! Also works in packs! For cheap!).

Also, a reminder that my D.C. reception and reading for my book is at 18th Amendment on Capitol Hill from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Thursday. The reading will be closer to 7, so don’t feel obligated to show up early and awkwardly hang around with me and my friends and family. Afterward, we’ll head three blocks down the street to watch the season opener.

*May not actually exist

I Liked Football in the Groin Because It Had a Football in the Groin. Per the numerous physical threats on my person that I received during the Pro Bowl live blog, I have agreed to live blog the Oscars this Sunday. Here. On this vulgar football blog. Because nothing appeals to gay mafias like pointless award shows (You know Milk is getting Best Picture because the Hollywood gay mafia is still upset that Crash beat out Brokeback in ’06. Actually, that’s not true. It’ll probably go to lame-ass Benjamin Button. Because the Oscars fucking suck.). Also, it’s supposed to be totally different this year and not the usual overlong snoozefest where they get everything wrong.

By popular demand, KSK will be liveblogging the SNF Cutlerfucker-Marmalard showdown this week. But that’s not all! We’ll also be liveblogging every game Wild Card weekend. Why? Because even though you call me a homerific hack every other comment, I love you guys. Okay, that’s a lie. I’ll be watching the games and drinking anyway and I need to share my witty banter with someone, because my cat certainly doesn’t properly appreciate it (stupid bitch).

Just a reminder that Punter (Monday, Tuesday) and Ape (Wednesday morning) will still have the keys for With Leather this week as Ufford continues searching for his camera in Arizona.

That’s it. Carry on.