If you’re anything like me, you watch the first quarter of NFL preseason games to make hasty snap judgments about who to draft in your fantasy leagues (“I MUST HAVE MIKE WALLACE!”). To that end, anyone who tuned into last night’s Steelers-Broncos game on NBC was treated to a pleasant surprise: a double rainbow at Mile High. It’s a nice metaphor for the beginning of the NFL season. The double rainbow guy sounds like me during Week 1 every fall. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? IT’S SO VIVID! SO INTENSE! OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT FOOTBALL. WOOOOOO!!!!

/cries tears of joy

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It’s here and so are we… at least for as long as the starters are in. Which means a nice 15 minute live blog.

You may have heard that Peter King was in attendance for his man’s debut as a New York Jet, but did you know that the stadium itself was just half full (including the two seats occupied by King)?

4. I think I don’t want to hear what great fans the Jets have. Not for a long time. That crowd Saturday night was a disgrace. At least half the stadium was empty (Ed. Note: such a pessimist!) for Favre’s debut in a Jets’ uniform. I expressed my amazement to a few fellow scribes Saturday night — emphasizing that N.Y. traded for an all-time-great quarterback, not a broken-down one — and they gave varying reasons for the poor turnout. Like it’s the middle of vacation month for New Yorkers, and it’s a preseason game. Horsefeathers. If you really love your team, and you have season tickets, you should have been at that game unless you were in Tibet. Ridiculous.

I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you assholes? What does it take for you to recognize and appreciate the unbridled majesty of pre-season greatness?

For fuck’s sake, the man threw five passes and you missed it! I demand an explanation from you self-described “fans” of the Jets right this minute.

Steve from West Orange: Every August I take the family to Montauk for two weeks. You know, it helps us to reconnect after the summer and before the kids head back to school. Besides, it was just a preseason game, so I was happy to watch the first half on television.

BULLCOCK! That kind of attitude is what’s wrong with America today. You had a chance to take your family to see one of this nation’s greatest heroes take the field for ten minutes and instead you chose to spend that time on vacation? You sir, are an ungrateful little shit who does not deserve to attend a single regular season game. Your children would be better off laying raped and murdered in a Trenton alley than they would under your care.

Ridiculous.