LOOKS LIKE CHICAGO POISONED THE WRONG STEELERS FAN. From Joey Porter to James Harrison now to local rube William Woodson, the Steelers shameful legacy of pit bull abuse continues. Forget Gay Zorro, trade for Vick! Woodson stomped his girlfriend’s puppy to death because it wouldn’t pipe down prior to the loss to the Chiefs. In a society that believed in creative punishment, we’d let Peezy and Deebo sic their savage killer dogs on him and turn him into so much kibble. Instead, he’ll probably just get raped in prison. Just not the same zing, you know?

Also, some guy in a Steelers jacket showed up at a Sarah Palin rally in Columbus, OH (:35 second mark) lisping something about her being the eepitome of conthssssservativenssssth. WE SHOULD LET HER COACH SSSTHPECIAL TEAMSSSTH!

You don’t know what it’s meant to have you in my life, girl. There were times there when I looked at this frayed coat of mine, these puncture wounds on my face and torso, and I didn’t think anyone would be capable of loving me.

The things I saw there, at Bad Newz, that’s some shit you can’t unsee.

I’ve found peace here at Best Friends. A peace I never knew possible. My life up to this point was consumed with ugly destruction from fights and uglier creation from the rape stand. Here, the walkies are tremendous and when I hump your leg, it’s mind-blowing, baby. It’s love.

DON’T COME UP BEHIND ME!!!!

Whew. I’m sorry to do that…it’s, it’s just a real downer, man. I can’t take it sometimes. It’s, like, the only others I can relate to are the other 46 who survived that place. You can try to understand, but unless you were there, I just don’t think it’s possible. I can’t quite put it into barks. That’s just the bond I have with them. It’s different with you, but it’s no less special.

AAAAAAHHHH STOP RAISING YOUR VOICE!!!

Wwwhhhaa. Okay, whatever it is, just write it down and slip the note under my paw. It’s okay. It’s okay. We cool. We cool. Can you just hand me that milkbone? No, that one over there. Yeah, I know I don’t have any teeth anymore. I just like to gum it a little.

Yeah. That’s it. Oh yeah. It’s gonna be aaaaaaalllllllllllllright.