Two of the elder franchises, each with a massive and surpassingly obnoxious fanbase, take on some Southern teams with followers made complacent by early success and NASCAR. Homefield advantage is on the line in each conference, even if all four of these teams are assured a first-round bye anyway and we all know at least one of them will be upset in the divisional round. Still, let’s pretend we’ll got a lot of NFL Playoffs chalk, so WHO YA GOT?

When asked by a reporter why he thinks the Ravens hate everyone’s favolite smalt smirretime leceivel, Hines Ward was at a loss. After all, the Ravens put a bounty on him then issued a bullshit denial to the media so they wouldn’t get suspended. After mulling it over a bit, Hines gave a very telling answer:

Hating Hines’ smirre? That’s like hating puppy dogs, big luscious titties or The Dark Knight on Blu-Ray. It’s impossible. And here I thought I was capable of unreasoning hate. You Ratbirds are sick! Sick, I say!
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