Rather than look on in approval from afar, Jerry Jones seems to inject himself into the action as much as possible. After Sunday’s win over the Bucs, Jones usurped the coach’s post-game prerogative and awarded the game ball. Jones gave the ball to Wade Phillips, nominally for his defensive play-calling, who reportedly dumped the ball moments later. Perhaps Wade would have preferred a box of Drake’s Devil Dogs.

In addition to part-time coaching, Jerry is also a big-time television star. Here’s the recent pizza commercial referenced in the Newsday link. (FF to the :30 mark if you want to see the groinal fustigation and are willing to forgo essential plot and thematic developments.)

A millionaire pretending to take a punch in the dick? At some point you think he might say to himself ‘I am a sixty-six year old billionaire, perhaps some quiet dignity is in order.’ But alas, it appears nothing is too unseemly for Jerry:

Director: Jerry, Jerry, in this one we need you to look into the camera and say “Dis here Papa John’s sho’ am good pizza!” Take a bite, aaaand then… shit your pants.

Jerry: Okay, roll ‘em.

Late last week, Redskins first-round pick LaRon “The Ron” Landry was paintballed in the groin in an apparent team-building activity with fellow members of the first-team defense. We KSKers prefer not to “build” “teams”. It’s ever so droll, that. However, the busting of balls concept does hold some promise.

We choose to ignore for the moment the obvious Han Moleman/George C. Scott joke, as we’re more curious as to who fired to offending shot, a fact that the AP article helpfully elides over. An abbreviated list of present suspects:

Tito Puente
Not actually Adam Archuleta, but someone who makes a lot of tired Adam Archuleta jokes
The Maj
Renaldo Wynn
Shitsy Spitsy
GG Allin
California Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer
Keith Hernandez
Nerds
Falco
Gabe Ruth
Hobos
Otto Man
One of those damn lolcats
Ron Paul

Any help would be much appreciated. We’d hate for the Redskins to have an excuse for sucking.

Image courtesy of flubby, who celebrated his first Father’s Day as a dad yesterday…by ignoring his kid and designing MS Paint images.