Hi, I’m Brady Quinn, the new starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. Now I may not be a Californian, but I’m here today to encourage you gay-loving liberals to come to your senses and vote Yes on Proposition 8.

Oh my god Tim, get your hands out of my pants, I’m trying to talk to the people here!

As I was saying, gay rights aren’t important, otherwise Jesus would have written a chapter about them in the Bible.

Seriously Tim, you can play with my balls all you want after I’m done.

Now if you want to be gay that’s your own business, but you guys should really keep in behind closed doors. You know, like inside of a closet.

Tim: Or out on a lake!

I swear to God, Tim, if you don’t shut up there won’t be any reacharound for you later.

So when you’re out there voting for President McCain today, be sure to vote Yes on Prop 8 to keep the sanctity of the heterosexual marriage pure.

Now Tim would you please assist me with this dutch rudder?

(puerta flies open)

Mi amigos. Gay Zorro believes in justice for all la gente! And if Gay Zorro wants to head down to the Castro district and put his churro into Juanito’s hoyo de feliz, that is Gay Zorro’s right, and the right of all los hijos de Santa Cruz!

(shoots z-shaped semen stain onto pool boy’s polo shirt)

GAY ZORRO WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ALL THE GAY PEOPLE! VAMANOS, LOS QUEERIOS!