Kissing Suzy Kolber » NFL PostSecret http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com KSK is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 05:25:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/ en hourly 1 NFL PostSecret Week 16: The Final Stretch of the Truth http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-16-final-stretch-of.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-16-final-stretch-of.html#comments Wed, 19 Dec 2007 06:00:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-16-the-final-stretch-of-the-truth.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.


NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire parody of this.

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-16-final-stretch-of.html/feed 9 NFL PostSecret Week 15: No Candor in December http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-15-no-candor-in.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-15-no-candor-in.html#comments Wed, 12 Dec 2007 05:15:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-15-no-candor-in-december.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.


NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire parody of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, December 11, 2007 11:24 AM

But I only picked up the 5-yard powder!

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Sunday, December 9, 2007 8:08 PM

God’s Team objects to the crass commercialization of our holiday.

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-15-no-candor-in.html/feed 7 NFL PostSecret Week 14: Midden Truth http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-14-midden-truth.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-14-midden-truth.html#comments Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:40:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-14-midden-truth.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.


NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire parody of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Wednesday, December 5, 2007 11:01 AM

Put me on your dorm room wall.


—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, December 4, 2007 4:31 PM

You’ll each keep one and you’ll like it.

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/12/nfl-postsecret-week-14-midden-truth.html/feed 10 NFL PostSecret Week 13: Secrets and Lies Not Just For Mike Leigh http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-13-secrets-and-lies.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-13-secrets-and-lies.html#comments Wed, 28 Nov 2007 05:49:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-13-secrets-and-lies-not-just-for-mike-leigh.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.

NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Monday, November 26, 2007 11:01 AM

Karaoke Hero.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 7:18 PM

Told ya so.

–S. Miller

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-13-secrets-and-lies.html/feed 7 NFL PostSecret Week 12, Thanksfibbing http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-12-thanksfibbing.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-12-thanksfibbing.html#comments Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:04:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-12-thanksfibbing.html Thanksgiving is one of the worst times of the year for dishonesty. Usually family only breeds that sort of thing, but the mixture of special occasions, alcohol and tryptophan brings out the candor in everybody. Assorted NFL personnel have tried to head off that uncomfortable eventuality by entrusting their deepest secrets to the trustworthy, bad MS Painty care of NFL PostSecret.
NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, November 20, 2007 1:11 PM

Rumors >>> Secrets


—–Email Message—–
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2007 7:53 PM

He’s no teenage stock boy at the Whole Foods.


]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-12-thanksfibbing.html/feed 7 NFL PostSecret Week 11: The Secret Life of Pads http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-11-secret-life-of.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-11-secret-life-of.html#comments Tue, 13 Nov 2007 05:52:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-11-the-secret-life-of-pads.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.

NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Sunday, November 11, 2007 10:33 PM

Lights out.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2007 12:57 PM

:)



—–Email Message—–
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2007 6:57 AM

Me ask Hines. He half-smart.

Update: bonus secret for commenter jeff:

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-11-secret-life-of.html/feed 14 NFL PostSecret Week 10: [Redacted] http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-10-redacted.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-10-redacted.html#comments Wed, 07 Nov 2007 13:00:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-10-redacted.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.

NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Monday, November 5, 2007 11:13 AM
Subject: Months

And October. And June.


—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, November 6, 2007 9:26 PM
Subject: Fitty

Sucks I’m out for the season. I finally have someone I identify with on this team.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, November 6, 2007 10:06 PM
Subject: Fitty 2

Shame that I’m not. Now Boldin gets all my throws and prayers.

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-10-redacted.html/feed 6 NFL PostSecret Week 9, Posted in Secrecy http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-9-posted-in-secrecy.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-9-posted-in-secrecy.html#comments Thu, 01 Nov 2007 04:23:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-9-posted-in-secrecy.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.


NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, October 30, 2007 11:14 AM

Love Actually was probably easier to watch than that game.


—–Email Message—–
Sent: Wednesday, October 31, 2007 2:14 PM

The Browns or the cookies?

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/11/nfl-postsecret-week-9-posted-in-secrecy.html/feed 11 NFL PostSecret Week 7: Where Secrets Are Kept But Gently Mocked http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/nfl-postsecret-week-7-where-secrets-are.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/nfl-postsecret-week-7-where-secrets-are.html#comments Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:45:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/nfl-postsecret-week-7-where-secrets-are-kept-but-gently-mocked.html It’s an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren’t making money off their pain. That’s only for the league to do.

NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It’s also a satire of this.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, October 23, 2007 9:26 PM
Subject: Die

At least Ape gets to go to hell.


—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, October 23, 2007 9:26 PM
Subject: CFL weed

Has hints of maple syrup!

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, October 23, 2007 9:26 PM
Subject: Drew**

kid u are a hypocrite cuz i bet u neva saiid all that shit u said in ur blog (which by the way makes u fuckin fat virgin geek fuck that spends his time writing blogs i mean who the fuck does that u fuckin fat fuck…ur gonna die a virgin kid) to someone while u lived in the greater Boston area….ur a fuckin loser kid u think the whole nation “hates” us…ur so fuckin retarded kid like the whole nation is gonna think of one issue and that issue being Boston fans and their GOOD fuckin teams in every sport……ur fuckin dellusional and stupid…u and ur little crew of Boston haters are like 10 percent of the whole american sport fans…kid by u writing all that bullshit u wrote in ur blog u made urself sound stupid, c’mon bro grow the fuck up, find a girl, get laid for once, lose some weight, and get out of ur mothers basement, and stop playin halo 2 cuz all yall computer geeks are fuckin inlove with halo…..

**Excerpt from actual e-mail Drew received in response to his Boston sports fan post.

]]> http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/nfl-postsecret-week-7-where-secrets-are.html/feed 57 NFL PostSecret Week 6: Now With Even Fewer Comments! http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/nfl-postsecret-week-6-now-with-fewer.html http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/nfl-postsecret-week-6-now-with-fewer.html#comments Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:40:00 +0000 Christmas Ape http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/10/nfl-postsecret-week-6-now-with-even-fewer-comments.html As with injuries, many NFL figures think that if they make it to the bye week without laying bare their most damaging or guarded secrets, then they might just outlast this grueling season and take out their inner tumult on their loved ones. Luckily for us, and I suppose their wives, most of the league wasn’t up to making it to the break.

—–Email Message—–
Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2007 10:26 AM
Subject: McRib

Where the fuck is it?



—–Email Message—–
Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2007 10:26 AM
Subject: Fantasy

Thanks for the -2 fantasy points, shitstain.

Reader Stephen from Cousins of Ron Mexico forwarded on this last one.

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