[4th quarter, Jets score a TD to cut San Diego's lead to 18]

Eric Mangini: We’re going for two.

Brett Favre: Nah, cummonthere Coach, duntwewannabe kickin dat bawl gittinusdown buh 17 poinsan gittintoo tuchday-owns inna fielgolen tiedispuppy up?

Eric: You heard me, Hee Haw. Slot left 535 razor monkey.

Brett: Ulright youda boss.

[Runs play, conversion fails, penalty called on defense]

Eric: What the hell happened out there?

Brett: Thempokeyboys wearindemstripeys donecalled penuldyonna deefey-nsin gonnamovdaball up–

Eric: I can see that, you fucking hilljack. Why didn’t you run the play I sent in?

Brett: Aw cummonthere Coach yewknow ol’ Brett dunlikedat monkeyrazor play no more thenna fiddlewit nostrings, lemme tellya.

Eric: I have no idea what you just said, but run the damn play I gave you this time.

Brett: Cummonthere Coach lemmerundat dangballup damiddlen gitdeez twopoin forya.

Eric: Just do it, you hogfucking hick.

Brett: Ulright youda boss.

[Runs play, conversion fails, penalty called on defense]

Eric: Goddammit, whaddaya doin’ out there?

Brett: Heydere Coach Laveranues wannaknow whywekawldatplay monkeyrazor, cuz heebeethinkin itsa bit racisten Iwannatellim itwadn’t butnow ol’Brett idn’t alldatshore it ain’t.

Eric: Is that why you didn’t run the play? Because you thought it was racist?

Brett: Now, cummonthere Coach ol’ Brett dunntoldya ainthavindat monkeyrazor play, notwhen 244 gypsy checkwitme workin’ somuchbedder, lemme tellya.

Eric: You don’t know the monkey razor play, do you Brett?

Brett: Nosir, aintgotta Gatdang clue.

Eric: Just tell Stuckey to run to the corner and throw it to him.

Brett: Hey coach, alligottadu stickdaballun mah bellybuttonin breethoutreel biggin wegonna gitdat toopoincunvershun, lemme tellya.

Eric: [confused] Why don’t you ever talk like this on TV?

Brett: Cummonthere coach playclockgonna runnout onnus now juslemme rundatbawl inthere.

Eric: Hey! Farmer Fuckhead! Throw it to  Stuckey!

Brett: Ulright youda boss.

[Runs play, pass incomplete]

Eric: You gotta execute better than that, goatfucker.

Brett: Imgonnatell Laveranues you saiddat.

Eric: [to himself] Maybe we should onside kick it again.