Jets acquire Braylon Edwards. The New York Jets have completed a trade for Cleveland’s Braylon Edwards. When reached for comment Jets coach Rex Ryan said, “I heard he punched out that little fella for being friends with the LeBron fella. That takes MOXIE!” [ESPN]

Also: Michael Crabtree ended his holdout. Everything he knows about negotiations he learned from Wikipedia. [Mercury News]

Future News: Jim Zorn fired as head coach of the Washington Redskins. Greg Blatche named interim head coach, Sherm Smith moves to offensive coordinator. [DC Sports Bog]

We’re always impressed when we get letters from people around the NFL. It still kinda blows our collective minds that this blog gets all the attention that it does in the sports universe. But we were doubly surprised when we received an email from Rex Ryan, who of course is the new coach for the New York Jets, who asked us to share a message with you on his behalf. We were flattered by the gesture, and only too happy to oblige, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just another form letter that he sends out regularly to random groups of people. Read it after the jump and tell us if we’re just crazy. (more…)

Hey, scheduling mavens.

It’s me, Fireman Eliezer, and I’ve got some kvetching to do. You shmendriks must have some serious chutzpah to schedule the first home game of the Jets season on Rosh Hashannah!

[has a nosh]

When I saw the schedule I nearly plotzed right there in front of my entire mishpocheh! All I wanted was to take my beloved bubbe to the first game of the new season. But I ask you, how am I to do this during the celebration of our new year? Oy vey iz mir.

[strokes payot]

And don’t get me started on that second home game. Scheduling our beloved J-E-T-S for a late afternoon game on the day Yom Kippur begins? Feh! You know very well that game won’t be over until the sun is setting. I’ll tell ya, it’s like a kick in the tuches! Sure, it’s all well and good for the precious goyim, but what about us, your faithful fans in the Jewish community? We give you support and in return we get bubkes!

[berates a woman for not showing her jewbs]

Hopefully everyone in your organization hasn’t gone completely mishegas and can get to work on fixing the schedule to better coincide with the new year and the Day of Atonement. And hey, if you were to toss in some coupons for those delicious kosher dogs we could put all of this ugliness behind us.

Shalom,
Fireman Eliezer

H-E-I-L HEIL! HEIL! HEIL!

Jewish groups, fans in uproar over name bid by firm with Holocaust ties