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ARE YOU READY MEN?

YEAH!

THIS IS OUR TIME!

YEAH!

THIS IS OUR HOUSE!

YEAH!

THEY HAVE COME INTO OUR HOUSE!

YEAH!

THEY DID NOT WIPE THEIR FEET ON THE MAT THAT WAS PROVIDED TO THEM, DID THEY!?

NO!

THEY SCORNED OUR OFFER OF A COOL REFRESHING BEVERAGE!

YEAH!

THEY TALKED ABOUT THEMSELVES FOR 20 MINUTES WHILE WE FAILED TO GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE!

YEAH!

AND WE HAVE METHODS FOR DEALING WITH GUESTS OF SUCH ILL TEMPER, DON’T WE?

YEAH!

YOU KNOW WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO?

YEAH!

WE’RE GONNA HIT ‘EM IN THE MOUTH!

YEAH!

AND WE’RE GONNA HIT ‘EM AGAIN!

YEAH!

AND WE’RE GONNA BLOODY THEIR NOSE!

YEAH!

AND WE WILL NOT OFFER SO MUCH AS A DISPOSABLE PAPER TOWEL TO STOP THE BLEEDING!

NO!

AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO?

YEAH!

WE’RE GONNA GIVE UP A 70-YARD PASS ON THE VERY FIRST PLAY!

YEAH!

WE’RE GONNA BE VERY HAPPENSTANCE IN OUR TACKLING!

YEAH!

AND THEN WE’RE GONNA STOMP THE SPREAD!

YEAH!

LET’S GET IT IN HERE….PLUS FOUR ON THREE….READY…ONE TWO THREE!

PLUS FOUR!

Some days, you open up your mailbox and treasure falls from the goddamn sky. Today is one such day. A reader who prefers to remain anonymous forwarded along to us what is arguably the douchiest email I’ve ever had the joy of reading. I don’t think I need to tell you that the author of this email went to Holy Cross. If you’re well off and you’ve got an insanely overstated sense of self-awesomeness, HOLY CRAWSS IS YAR FACKIN’ SCHOOL! Let’s dive in, shall we?

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